Tag: intuitive eating

Untethered Eating: Exciting….or Terrifying?

On By jodietitianIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Image may contain: people sitting and foodI love the word “untethered”….not sure why, probably because it makes me think of a dog escaping his leash and running free to smell the grass, jump around and finally, being able to be the creature he was supposed to be. Maybe that is why when I arrived at the airport way too early last month on my way to Florida, I ended up impulsively buying a paperback in the airport bookstore. I actually almost always end up buying a book at that bookstore because we are ALWAYS early. Anyway, I ended up purchasing The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer because I liked what it said on the back, it was not too long and like I said, I like the word “untethered”.

As I was reading the book, it struck me there were lots of parallels that could be made with the way we eat. I tend to be slanted in the way I look at eating because of my experience with working with individuals with eating disorders and with parents of children who have the dreaded unacceptable BMI. I often react to things very differently than others. When really smart and educated, even insightful and spiritual people fail to react to something that totally infuriates me, I know I am prejudiced against some of our culturally expected natural instincts. Anyway, I know this is why this book struck me so hard in the way it relates to eating, and especially dieting minds.

To see what the book is about check out this description on the Untethered Soul’s website. The bottom line, to me, was learning how to live in the moment verses constantly reliving and regretting the past, and/or spending way too much time planning, worrying about or dreading the future (hhmmmm… do you know anybody who does that with food?). It was about that voice that is continually and always in our heads, barking orders, belittling, shaming and stressing us out. And although it is somewhat different (the book refers to inner consciousness) I have talked about “self-talk” before. It is a common term in healing from disordered eating. We sometimes refer to this nasty voice as “ED” (eating disorder), the one telling us we are fat, we are stupid because we ate something, a cookie will make us gain weight, and on and on. The first step is to start to become aware of that voice.

And that is what struck me about the book message and how it can apply to the way we eat (or try not to eat). Becoming aware of that voice is the first step to a more peaceful relationship with food. Being non-judgmental of that voice, no matter what it says, is also critical. The important thing is to become more conscious of what is going on. Not running from it, not trying to change it, and definitely not judging it. Just sitting with it and accepting it.

After reading the book I started to think about what “tethered” eating looks like. All of the things patients have said to me came to mind. The sad thing is some of the culturally acceptable messages also came to mind (so you can imagine how hard it is to heal from disordered eating when cultural messages about bodies and eating are also disordered……how do you fight the world?).  Some of the thoughts stuck in our heads that keep us tethered might be:

  • You need to lose ______pounds
  • You need to get down to a size _____
  • You need to get rid of that tummy (thighs, butt, insert body part)
  • Carbs are bad
  • You need to be “good” (meaning don’t eat “bad” food)
  • Don’t eat fried foods
  • Sweets are bad
  • Don’t eat after 6 pm
  • Read the label and don’t eat anything with sugar
  • You ate __________ so now you need to burn it up by exercising more
  • Cheese is bad
  • Meat is bad
  • Eggs are bad
  • Cookies are bad
  • Pasta is bad
  • I can’t eat what everyone else is eating
  • I can’t order what I really want in a restaurant

And on and on, you get the message. We are so wrapped up in perfect eating and perfect bodies (whatever that means) that we end up feeling tied up when it comes to food. I actually have witnessed people looking almost like a cartoon when they are faced with food. Imagine a child in front of a bakery counter, drooling over whoopie pies or amazing looking desserts and the mom pulling the kid away, the child’s neck still stretched as far as it can toward that sweet display. Sometimes, that is how people strike me, but there is no leash, no adult pulling them back, they are just drooling and denying themselves something they really want because of the subconscious “tether”.  Then again, at other times when I see someone gobbling something up, it is because they have decided to cut the tie and go crazy (just like the puppy running free, they really let loose). It is a natural instinct I imagine, after feeling tied up for so long. But it has nothing to do with enjoying food in a healthy way (or a normal way). There is nothing intuitive or conscious about either extreme (of restricting or overeating).

If you are someone who is trying to lose weight (or simply trying to be a “healthy eater”), you may be thinking “of course I need to control myself, if I didn’t I would eat everything and gain weight (or be unhealthy)!”.

Probably not, if you stop and think first. Not if you tune in to your true hunger (or your true desire, craving or need). Not if you get to a place of knowing you are truly free, and believing it.

Remember, although I wish everyone with disordered eating could do this and be free, I know it is not that easy. Eating disorders are complex, and getting better is not this simple. Stopping binge eating or recovering from anorexia or bulimia takes lots of therapy , work and medical attention. And although leaning how to “tune in” to true hunger (verses using eating or not eating for something else) may be part of the process to recover, what I am talking about now is directed more toward the “typical dieter” who is simply falling into the trap of thinking eating needs to be perfect, or a certain way in order to affect weight. Those of you with eating disorders need to work with your specialists to do what you need to do for your individual situation. I know you will agree, though, that EVERYONE would be happier and mentally healthier if they got off this crazy perfect eating bandwagon.

With that said, my goal is to give you healthy-eating, dieting, weight watching people a little reality check. Thinking you need to be tied, tethered or whatever to eating a certain way either for a certain time period, or forever is actually preventing you from being the healthiest you can be. Keeping yourself leashed to a specific and narrow way of choosing foods based on Lord knows what not only may affect your physical health, it is likely a drain on your mental health, too. Thinking about every bite you put in your mouth is not only draining, it prevents you from living in the moment and enjoying all that life has to offer. And even worse, it actually keeps you disconnected and less in tune with what your body needs.

But what about our health, you might be thinking? Of course we need to think about what we eat! It is the only way to make healthy choices, right? OK, here is the clincher: it IS a balancing act. You DO need to care about your health (which means caring about your food choices) but, you also DO need to be happy and live life. You DO NOT need to be tethered to anything. How do you do both, eat healthy but be free? THAT is the balancing act.

Here are some tips:

  1. Reject any “all or nothing” thinking. Example (my pet peeve, this drives me crazy): sugar is bad, therefore I need to avoid any foods that have a lot of sugar. I need to pick the yogurt with the least amount of sugar (even though I really don’t like it).  I can’t get the one I like because it has 10 grams of sugar. Mine only has 5 grams. Really? FYI 5 grams of sugar is a teaspoon of sugar (15 calories people). So, for an extra 15 calories you are not going to get the yogurt you truly enjoy? NOT THAT CALORIES MATTER but, the point is, 15 calories is only a tiny fraction of your total intake for a day. It is basically meaningless. Eat the darn yogurt you like, would ya!?
  2. Be skeptical of the latest craze. For example, avoiding gluten. If you have celiac disease or a true intolerance, that is one thing. But most of us don’t have this problem, we have no digestive reaction to eating gluten containing foods and there is no reason to avoid it. On the other hand, it is perfectly smart to avoid things that we know are harmful (trans fat, for example), or, if you have a medical condition and need to limit something (such as saturated fat) that is different. But for those of us who don’t have medical conditions, there is no reason to scrutinize every label and every bit of food we eat. With that said, avoiding weird additives and artificial dyes, etc, and preferring natural whole foods is a personal preference and choice, not what I am referring to here (I like real food myself).
  3. Educate yourself about nutrition, but don’t be perfect. I have said it before, it is smart to make healthy choices, to learn how to cook in a healthier way, to plan ahead in order to avoid spending money eating out, bringing lunch to work or school, etc. But just because you know what makes a healthy meal does NOT mean every meal needs to fit some perfect pattern. Being a dietitian is sometimes irritating because I am totally aware of what I am missing in a meal. And I know how my choices may affect how I feel later. I still, though, really do try to practice what I preach. A good example is my recent craving for avocados. For some strange reason, I have been wanting avocados every single day for the past several weeks. Maybe it is the changing weather, with warm weather finally arriving, who knows. Anyway, there have been days where for lunch I just smash that avocado up with some salt on a roll or other bread item and skip the usual protein source (often leftovers) I typically have. I may have other things in my lunch, but they definitely don’t have protein. But guess what? I feel completely satisfied and happy. I know my hair is not going to fall out just because I got 20 less grams of protein for lunch. Yes, I may get hungry earlier in the afternoon than usual, but who cares, that’s what snacks are for. I would rather be happy with what I am eating and truly enjoy my lunch rather than force feed myself a few slices of turkey that I don’t want. So care about your nutrition, but please don’t try to make it perfect.
  4. Make a decision about what you want to eat BEFORE you start eating. Some people are so “out of tune” with what they like, and so accustomed to denying themselves foods that they tend to have an internal war with themselves when they have to pick something to eat. They may want to heat up a plate of that leftover lasagna for lunch, but noooooooooooooooo! That was a splurge on the weekend, and today they have to be “good”. They should have a salad (the last thing they really want). So, as they start to throw together their boring salad, they grab a few wheat thins (they have deemed that as healthy, so that’s ok), then maybe a few grapes (safe too). Maybe a bite or two of cheese as they grab the lettuce out of the fridge. Oh, there’s that lasagna….maybe a cold broken piece of noodle off the top. Finally, after NOT enjoying any of the bites of food they mindlessly nibbled on, they sit down to their bland salad, feeling deprived, but safe. What if, instead, this person stopped for a minute to think about what they really wanted to eat? Maybe they first had to case the fridge to see what was available (smart). They would have discovered the leftover lasagna and made the executive decision that this would be what would be truly satisfying. They get the plate, cut a piece the size they know would be satisfying but not make them uncomfortable, heat it up, and they sit and enjoy their lunch. They leave the table feeling satisfied, not deprived. There is no need to keep going back to nibble because they have actually satisfied their appetite and had a perfectly acceptable, normal lunch.
  5. Slow down. Put the phone down. Turn off the TV. Get a plate (or a bowl). Sit. There just is no way to start to tune in to enjoying your food when you are distracted. If you want to work on being free from restrictive eating and following rules, and you have taken the brave step to allow yourself to choose a meal you really want, then you also need to pay attention to how you feel. It sometimes takes time to learn how much is enough. It is ok to make mistakes (that lasagna person may be satisfied with half of the piece they took, or may find themselves hungry an hour later if the piece was too small). It is a learning process. If you don’t pay attention and tune in to your tummy and how you feel, you will miss it.
  6. Be wary of peer pressure. It is just weird to me how people care what other people are eating (or not eating). When you are truly in tune with your hunger and fullness, and when you start to really know what you like or don’t like it is a great, freeing thing. But sometimes, it does not make sense to others. I think most of the adults I know kind of think they should not eat sweets, so they avoid them like the plague. But when there is some occasion to celebrate, and sweets are available, they just don’t get it that someone may not want any. Something like desserts and sweets  really do lose some of their allure with both children AND adults when they are not made out to be so naughty. Friends or family probably will comment either way, if you eat it or if you don’t (you can’t win, I am telling you!).  If you don’t want something, they will say “oh, you are so good” and if you do take something they will say something else. Don’t let the stupid comments of others make you either eat something you don’t want, or skip something you really do want. The important thing is to eat what, and how much, makes you feel right.
  7. Don’t stop caring about eating healthy. The reality is that a good part of the time we are actually not too picky and don’t care what is available to eat. You may not be on an avocado jag. You may not care if you have the lasagna or a turkey sandwich if that is what is in the fridge. Maybe the blackened salmon on kale salad with goat cheese appeals to you just as much as the chicken wings with onion rings. Why not go with the healthy choice? That is the smart thing to do. But, if you are really wanting the choice that you have previously had rules about, why not take that risk and get what you truly want? The key is to take the time to tune it to how much is satisfying and enough. For example, if a gigantic basket of onion rings (which I love) is placed on your table in a restaurant, having some is satisfying, but eating the entire basket just because they are there leads to discomfort later for most of us. Taking a serving and passing it on is not restricting, it is knowing your body and what makes it feel right.

Untethered eating is not for everyone. For those who have eating issues such as emotional eating, binge eating disorder, or who have other eating disorders or disordered eating behavior, moving to intuitive eating may not be doable on your own (but, hopefully, you are under good professional care and working on it). And for those of you who are dieters, or just trying to eat healthy, but simply can’t imagine taking that step, I hope you at least take that first step: pay attention to that voice. Ask yourself: are you regretting what you ate yesterday? Are you stressing about what you are going to eat tomorrow? Why not at least take a moment to be in the present. Don’t miss out on the simple joy of even one meal or snack you could be enjoying today.

Just like the puppy who breaks off the leash and runs free…..don’t you want to be free when it comes to thinking about food and eating? Just like that puppy who runs around and around and goes wild for awhile, eventually, he plops down and relaxes…..

and so should you.

 

 

5 Tips to Deal With Food Anxiety: When You Can’t Make Up Your Mind About What to Eat

On By jodietitianIn Uncategorized2 Comments

buffetI am not a fan of buffets. I remember the very first time I went on a cruise, and hearing about the buffets and how wonderful they were. Not to me. Don’t get me wrong, the food looked amazing, but there were way too many choices: Asian food, Mexican, Italian, Thai, sushi bar, ice cream bar, salad bar, dessert bar, fruit bar and good old American burgers and fries. I would see something I thought looked yummy, but then walk a few feet and change my mind. I know the limits of my tummy capacity and there was no way I could try something of everything. So instead, we decided on the sit down dinner option (the only negative being you had to look presentable). Anyway, this option ended up being perfect. Each night we were presented with a limited (gourmet) menu with only a few choices for appetizer, salad, main course and dessert. This I could do. Not to mention, we were treated like royalty, and the food was spectacular. I loved it.

Cruises aside, I believe having anxiety about what to eat or even whether to eat is a common thing, especially among those who are trying to eat healthier, or trying to lose weight. Yesterday I did a workshop on a college campus (all women) and one of the questions was “How do we know what to eat? What do we go by? I have a friend who writes everything down, all this information about what she is eating (like grams of carbs, calories, fat), it seems so stressful, and I just don’t have time for that!”

Great question, I thought. But it is so hard to answer in this technological and perfect-body focused world we live in. Even websites and apps with good intentions, and that want to promote health (such as the Choose My Plate website) seem to be fat-phobic and hyper-focused on monitoring every morsel of food and calorie burned in exercise, all with the intent of assisting someone in attaining a lower weight. But with technology, and all of the new food products out there taking advantage of our phobias of sugar and carbs and fat, it really can get confusing. I hear people wondering out loud if their lunch is healthy, if they should eat this or that, complaining about eating something they consider “bad”, feelings of guilt about what they eat, or what they want to eat. When it comes to deciding what to eat for breakfast, or what to pack (or buy) for lunch, or what to cook for dinner, people struggle. And when a restaurant is involved, it can get very confusing.

Some people may not be able to relate to this stress at all. They eat whatever is there. They truly don’t care. God bless you! But please don’t get frustrated with your family members or friends who just can’t ignore the bombardment of nutrition information or body shaming that is out there. So, this post is for them. If you get really confused about what to eat, or if you feel bad about choices you sometimes make, here are some tips I hope make you feel better. After all, eating is only one small part of your very interesting life!

Tip #1: Food isn’t everything. Look at your “big picture”. When it comes to being healthy, things like stress at work, poor sleep, not exercising and not having good friends and/or family are truly more important. Food comes next. If you figure out how to make everything else good, usually eating healthy is much easier. So, answer these questions honestly: do you sleep well? are your relationships healthy and nurturing? do you love what you do? are you able to be active? If you don’t have these issues settled then it will be much harder to figure out how to manage to eat healthier too.

Tip#2: Do you eat your 3 meals a day? Breakfast, lunch and dinner are words that our modern lifestyle seems to forget. Back in the day, I remember looking forward to eating lunch. These days, lots of people feel guilty taking time out of their busy lives to enjoy a good lunch and instead get by with coffee, packages of crackers or fast snacks. They down giant coffees instead of breakfast and wonder whey they need to nibble all night. Making meal times a priority in your life is important. If you nurture your body by giving it enough energy in the form of a meal three times a day, you are more likely to feel good, have energy and make wiser choices when it comes to eating and your health.

Tip # 3: When it is time to decide what to eat, and you are confused, ask yourself: am I craving anything? If you are, well, there is your answer as far as what to eat. Remember, a craving is when you really want something that you did not see. It is different than a trigger food, which is a food you see and then think you want. You can get over a trigger food, because once you walk by it (or change the channel or walk away from the coffee break room where the donuts are) you will forget about that food. But, if you are truly craving a food, if it is on your mind all day (for example, I sometimes really really really want Buffalo Wild Wings boneless Thai wings and boneless Garlic Parmesan wings). I start thinking about them at work and have to order them so I can pick them up on the way home. This happens about 3 or 4 times a year. It doesn’t matter what I may have planned for dinner or what is simmering in the crock pot. I want wings. I believe in listening to that voice that tells you that you want something specific. You really can live without a salad every meal. If, on the other hand, you are not craving anything specific, then by all means, go home and have that yummy healthy whatever you are simmering in that crock pot. (Note: for those suffering from Binge Eating Disorder or other eating disorder, this advice may not apply and you should use the strategies that work for you).

Tip #4: If you are one of those people who are confused about your feelings of hunger (not really sure if you are hungry or not) then it can be difficult to know if you should eat or not. If you can relate to this, then you might want to do some reflecting at those moments when you are wanting to eat, or not sure if you should eat, or perplexed as to how much you should eat. First, ask yourself: when did I last eat? If it was an hour ago then you may not really be hungry. If it was over 4 hours ago then chances are, your are hungry and need to eat. But the other important question to ask is”what did I eat?” If you actually did eat only an hour ago but thought you could get by with just a yogurt for lunch, then you my friend are probably hungry. If, on the other hand, only an hour has gone by and you had a good meal with protein, fat, carbs and fiber (think nice sandwich with meat on a roll, lettuce and tomato, some pretzels and a yogurt) then you might not really be hungry and should try to figure out what you really DO need.

Tip#5: Nutrition Matters, but one meal does not make the man (or woman). In other words, yes, you need to learn about healthy eating, cooking, food preparation, and the basics about what someone your age needs to have energy and be healthy. You may not like milk so may need a calcium supplement. You may not eat meat so would need to find another source or protein and iron. Yes, there is a reason we nutritionists say you need to “eat a rainbow” every day (make half that plate colors!) But, your body does not really care that your day to day eating has to be perfect. All it cares about is that over time, you get what you need. Nothing bad will ever happen just because you did not drink milk or eat veggies and fruits for a day or 2. Trends over time are what matter.

So, if you don’t want to think too much about eating or nutrition, well, that might be a good thing. Instead, keep it easy. Just work on increasing the basics: more fruits and veggies, including protein foods with your meals so you don’t crash and drinking more water.

Extra Tip: If you ever find you stress out too much about what to eat you may want to seek out some support from a therapist who specializes in eating issues. Life is too short, and eating should be a joy, not add stress to your life. In fact, too much anxiety around eating may be a risk factor for disordered eating (see link below for a summary article on the relationship between anxiety and eating disorders). In the mean time, enjoy those buffets in moderation. Me, I will be at Buffalo Wild Wings.

Anxiety and Disordered Eating

 

Nutrition 101: Eat Like a Kid

On By jodietitianIn Uncategorized, weight2 Comments

Dunkin Donuts 0006

When I was a kid, I loved Sundays. My family would all go to church and after the mass my older sister and I would walk over to the rectory (where the priests lived) and go down to the basement to open the  money envelopes. It was a job we got paid for in donuts. Yup, after all the envelopes were open and counted, Father Flower (his real name) would come in with a box of donuts for all of us (maybe a half dozen of us trustworthy young Catholics). I loved donuts back then because we rarely got them. They were a treat. But it didn’t end there.

My dad would pick us up and him and I would go together to Valley Acres. This was a small local store that had the best cold cuts in town. We would wait in line and get our ham and salami and provolone. Next stop, Lin Lou’s bakery for the poppy seed hard rolls and Italian bread, the best. Finally, home for lunch. Mom would have the peppers all fried up by now. We would make the most delicious sandwiches on those fresh rolls with provolone and ham and salami  and fried peppers (nobody thought about cholesterol back then). After that, I would help my mom make the meatballs (it was Sunday after all, which was always pasta day, sauce, meatballs, sausage, eggplant if mom was feeling like it). I loved grating the Italian cheese and mixing up the meatballs for my mom. She would do the cooking and then we would all go playing outside while the sauce simmered all day. No electronics back then, and only 3 channels on the TV so not worth it, unless of course it was football season. Then I would be on the couch with my dad, glued to the Green Bay Packers, his team. Anyway, dinner would be all together at the kitchen table, a big bowl of meatballs and Italian sausage, pasta with sauce and freshly grated cheese, great Italian bread from Lin Lou’s bakery, green salad with tomatoes and cucumbers and lots of oregano and olive oil. Maybe dad would have a glass of cheap Italian red wine, and we would eat and enjoy every bite. Then we did our jobs, clearing the table, doing the dishes, putting them away. And that was it.

Today, many years later, I think about how eating was back then. Nobody really thought about it much that I can remember. When it came to eating as a kid, all I remember was that I loved the food my mom cooked. I loved the Italian traditions. And I loved those donuts. I sometimes roll my eyes when I listen to adults talk about food and diets and nutrition, and I often think “TOO MUCH THINKING!!!” Somehow, we survived, even without knowing much about nutrition. We just ate. And, mostly, we ate what we liked. What happened? Why don’t people do that anymore? How did it get to where we need to analyze every morsel we put in our mouths?

Yes, since then, we have learned a lot about how to eat to be healthy. We have learned about antioxidants and phytochemicals and fiber. Funny thing, the old advice of “eat your vegetables” pretty much covers all that. Back then, fast food establishments were far and few between. We had one McDonald’s in the state of Connecticut when I was in grade school and when we went once or twice a year, it was a treat. Those discs of a burger were very different than my dad’s burgers on the grill, but french fries were something new. Yes, we enjoyed our McDonald’s and it did no damage. But then again, we went so infrequently, and there were only normal sized burgers and fries and one size of shake. These days our food environment is much different. I think it messes with our natural ability to eat the right amount. I have worked with lots of families who don’t have much money, so going to buffets is a big treat. Back when I was in high school we had to drive to a different state to get to a buffet. It was a once a year thing all teenagers did when they got their license…I think the place was called Custy’s and it was in Rhode Island and the big draw was the seafood…lobster, shrimp and all the kinds of things you really could not afford on a regular basis. I never went but I was fascinated by the stories of how much people ate…how many lobsters, pounds of shrimp, etc. I didn’t really get it because I did not eat fish back then.

Looking back at our attitudes and behavior around food as kids or even teenagers is interesting when you compare it to how we think about food as adults. Somehow, along the line we lose something. We seem to lose (from my experiences anyway) simple appreciation for yummy food without judgment. As adults, we just can’t seem to help adding our adjectives to food. “This is bad but I am not eating carbs tomorrow”. When we go to a party or out to dinner, instead of looking at the menu for your favorite food, or to see what sounds the most yummy (like you did when you were little), most people are weighing the calories or healthiness or carbs or trying to figure out the points.  All of these cognitive methods to figure out what to eat weigh in to help you make the “right” or “healthy”decision about what to get. But, what most people are unaware of is that all this thinking interferes with your natural ability to choose food you like and enjoy.

Sometimes, of course, people who are on a “diet” or restricting to lose weight tend to behave somewhat differently. If they are being “bad” they tune out their body altogether, order too much food, overeat and feel very uncomfortable after because tomorrow, they will be “good” again. This is not what I am referring to as far as natural eating and choosing what you like. This is almost the opposite extreme, a type of “force-feeding” borne out of food insecurity, or the feeling that you may never get it again. That is what tends to happen with people who diet.

It is not easy for most people to accept the idea that you “can eat whatever you want to” and still be ok. You might be thinking “if I did that, I would gain 20 pounds!” The key word is “whatever”. The biggest mistake I have seen people make is giving power to food. Not any food, only certain foods. Somehow, a 200 calorie candy bar has more power than a 200 calorie spinach salad. People mistakenly believe that lone candy bar will “make you fat” because it falls into that “bad” category. The spinach salad with the high protein boiled eggs however, despite providing the same amount of energy (calories) is never the bad guy. Nope, most people would agree, hard boiled eggs and spinach will never make you fat.

What I have seen most people do who have moved away from eating foods they love is a tendency to walk around almost never being satisfied. As a result, they may tend to nibble and pick on more and more “good” or “healthy” food…..only to eventually consume more calories than they would had they satisfied their appetite (both physically and sensory satisfaction) by eating exactly what they really wanted. The key is they are less likely to overeat when they are satisfied. Remember, however, everyone is very different. I am referring to those who do not suffer from Binge Eating Disorder (BED) and those who have typical brains and appetites that may only be off a bit because of normal dieting. There are those whose brain chemistries will lead them to eat beyond a typical amount if they allow themselves certain kinds of foods (usually sugar and fat). Most people (I hope) who have such an eating issue usually work with specialists who help them cope with their issues. The typical dieter or even the typical “healthy” eater however, is who I am reaching out to.

The bottom line is that it is NOT the “whatever” that matters, but the “how much”. If you eat just one candy bar (or burger and fries, or whatever the case may be when it comes to “bad” food) it is no different to your body than eating an equivalent of “healthy” food that may not satisfy you. The secret is to listen to your fullness. For those of you who are disconnected from this feeling, it may take time, but don’t give up. Do some experimenting. I often use the example of a college girl I worked with years ago. She had been eating very little during the day, restricting herself to a plain salad for lunch, but then began nibbling on “healthy” snacks throughout the night. She would have several fat free granola bars, rice cakes, sugar free jello and apples and by the time she went to bed, she did not feel so great. She also was frustrated with having to be thinking about food and eating all night. When I asked her what she really wanted at lunch if she could eat whatever she wanted, she said “a cheeseburger”. So she took the risk and agreed that just once she would get a burger for lunch and see how she felt. I will never forget her expression (and happiness) she had at her next visit when she shared her experience with me. “I felt so satisfied! And the best part was that I was not thinking about food all day! I actually ended up having just one snack instead of a dozen and felt much better!” She had to take that risk and try it once. But it literally changed her life.

Does this mean you should throw nutrition caution to the wind? Not care about eating healthy ever again? Of course not! I believe in choosing healthy food, learning to cook healthy meals but educating yourself on how to make food yummy, too. However I also believe in living in reality. The fact is that you may really want the onion rings and not the side salad. And that’s ok. Plus, if you eat a few onion rings and feel satisfied I bet you are less likely to be seeking out food shortly after a restrictive meal.

So go ahead, take that step, even if it means just being honest with yourself (even if you can’t actually order that favorite food, at least you are considering it). Who knows, a fluffernutter may be in your near future yet.

PS A bit of advice: if you have been eating an extremely high fat diet such as visiting McDonald’s or other fast food joint on a daily basis, your body may actually be craving more fat than is typical. If you honestly don’t have a clue about nutrition, you may want to seek advice from a registered dietitian. Ask your doctor for a referral to a dietitian near you. Even one visit will give you direction.

 

 

 

 

The “Eat Whatever You Want” Diet

On By jodietitianIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

20160326_132628I just stumbled upon a really fun and mindless activity in the process of doing some research for today’s blog. I wasted a bit too much time because I was kind of blown away. A few weeks ago I was slightly enraged after a Dr. Oz show promoting the miraculous grapefruit diet, implying some magical activity of “nootkatone” the substance in grapefruit that supposedly leads to increased metabolism (long story short, I could find no meaningful research other than it also repels tics). The reality is the eating plan promoted was an extremely low calorie diet (on the verge of starvation if you ask me) which clearly would cause weight to be lost (from muscle breakdown, water loss mostly and probably not the grapefruit). Oh, and nootkatone is found primarily in the skin. Yum.

Anyway, I decided to google food words followed by the word “diet” just to see what came up. I decided to go with some of my favorite foods. I googled “ice cream”. Yup, there is an ice cream diet. Then chocolate. Yes again, The Chocolate Diet. Cookies. Bananas. Pizza. And finally, The Pasta Lover’s Diet. I concluded it would never end. Try it, it’s kind of funny.

What isn’t funny is the extreme feelings of guilt and shame many dieters get when they eat something that is not on their diet. Typically, people watching their weight avoid certain foods like the plague, but then break down and eat them due to many reasons (cravings related to inadequate intake which triggers your brain to have the craving is the usual reason). Often, a distorted assessment of the “damage” done by eating that piece of cake or slice of pizza or side of fries occurs. People tend to assume (imagine) that weight will be gained from eating that specific “bad” food. “If I ate pasta I would gain so much weight!” I hear people say. Or, “how can she eat that and not gain weight?”

Yes, lots of foods have a bad rap and assumptions that they can make you gain weight as if they have some super-power to magically add weight. And yet, many of those same foods have their own weight loss diets named after them. Don’t you find that interesting? Or a bit crazy? Even infuriating if you ask me.

I am here to keep repeating the truth. As a woman who has been around the block a few times (as they say) at least when it comes to working within the weight loss world and eating disordered worlds, as well as just observing those who diet, and those who successfully evolve into a happy eating lifestyle, I have something to say. I wish I had a magic wand that make it stop but I don’t, so let me explain:

  • There is no one magical food or drink that makes you lose weight. I remember a mom from years ago whose child attended the Headstart preschool where I worked. She was trying to lose weight, so she bought some “Slimfast” shakes. She did not understand why she was not losing weight because she was drinking one after every meal she ate. She thought she just needed to have one of these magical shakes after everything she ate (mostly fast food) and it would make her “slim-fast”. Don’t be fooled into buying anything that sounds magical.
  • Most diets, any diet based on any food (even the grapefruit claim) causes weight loss because of the calorie deficit that results with restriction. They all come with a “diet plan”. Losing more than a pound or 2 a week almost always translates into muscle loss (and resulting lowering of metabolism). In the long run, when people fall back to old eating and lifestyles, weight returns. Don’t waste your time or money.
  • You actually CAN eat your favorite foods every single day of your life. If you can work on the principles of intuitive eating, and understanding your own feelings of hunger and fullness you will figure out how much and when you want to eat what. This is not easy for everyone. Some people have true fears of foods and need help getting over it. Others have the brain chemistry as well as genetic make-up that makes it difficult to feel fullness. If this is you, getting help from a registered dietitian and a therapist to help with strategies to work on coping mechanisms and an eating plan that works for you is often called for.
  • Nutrition matters. You don’t have to be a health-nut but it is helpful to understand the effect of different meals and nutrients on your body, hunger, appetite, fullness, digestive system, etc. For example, I may prefer sweet foods in the morning (maybe your favorite thing for breakfast is a donut and coffee) but the physiological response to this will be crashing a few hours later because there is no protein in donuts and they won’t sustain your blood sugar. So should you add an egg or two on the side? Eeeeww if you ask me….eggs don’t go with donuts, and personally, I can’t eat an egg at 7 am. You can however, have that donut but chances are, when you crash, you will want something with protein (your brain and body tends to work that way). So bringing a Greek yogurt or peanut butter and crackers, or leftover chicken wings, whatever floats your boat in the protein world should do the trick mid morning. Get it? Nutrition matters because the more you know about it, the better you can blend your food preferences with feeling good and getting through your day with both health and  happiness.
  • Please don’t feel bad if you like to buy some diet products that might work for you. People ask me to check out bars, shakes, etc. all the time. One bar someone shared recently was from some type of diet plan which also sold its products. This particular bar was supposedly a “meal replacement” and per the nutrition label it actually was pretty good. The problem was it cost about 5 dollars. That is a lot, but then again, that’s the diet industry. This person loved the convenience and could afford it. Like I said, whatever works for you as far as foods or products. I just hate wasting money and I hate supporting the diet industry.
  • Regarding those people who “gradually evolve” into a healthier lifestyle and tend to maintain their genetically determined natural body weight? I have noticed they focus on healthy eating but without dieting. They tend to structure meals and snacks (such as having 3 meals a day with a snack in between) so they don’t get overly starving and tend to maintain energy levels (which feels good compared to dieting, skipping meals, etc). Although they do tend to do some planning to have the foods available they like, they also go with the flow when there is a celebration or pizza party, or happy hour and enjoy what everyone else is eating. They do come prepared and bring lunches they like to work that also tend to be healthy (maybe leftovers from the night before). They also tend to exercise, walk, jog, work out on a regular basis because they are not on a “diet”, just working on all aspects of health. And that feels good, too.

Where do you go from here? If you want to move away from that dieting mind set and get to the point where you feel you are moving in a healthy direction, yet also getting to eat your favorite foods, I always suggest checking out Intuitive Eating for a great introduction into the world of normal eating and for guidance on how to get there. And remember, you know yourself best. If this journey is too overwhelming for you, seek support from a therapist who specializes in eating issues (you can ask your doctor for a referral near you).

In the meantime, go google your favorite food with the word “diet” after it. I hope it makes you laugh and see the insanity. No food is magical after all.

PS I just googled “wine diet”…..yup, it’s there.

 

Eat Like a European (or “How to Put the Joy Back” in Your Meals)

On By jodietitianIn Uncategorized3 Comments

Image may contain: food and indoorI stood at the kitchen counter watching the past few minutes of the news as I gobbled down some leftover cold chicken wings I made on the weekend. When this happens to me (being in such a rush that I end up standing as I shove food in my mouth) I chuckle to myself. I am not “practicing what I preach” for sure! That morning I failed to look at the clock as Tuesdays are my later days and I enjoy taking my time. Unfortunately, my needing to rush resulted in a quick meal that was not as enjoyable as the first time I had it (Saturday night with candles lit in a peaceful and relaxing setting).

After my visit to Italy a few years ago I felt like a changed woman with regard to eating and meal preparation. I had an even greater appreciation for how much joy cooking and family meals, or meals with friends brings to one’s life. And yet, here I am a few years later, forgetting all I learned and falling into what I sometimes refer to as “the modern American family” way of eating. I use that phrase often when working with families because I don’t want them to feel judged by me or bad about the fact they rarely have family meals. When I ask a parent to describe what meals look like, this is what I often hear:

“Well, I get home kind of late so the sitter gives a snack to the kids after school”….(think gold fish crackers, shriveled up fruit leather, yogurt in a tube thingee, mini muffins)……….”and I usually pick up something. It could be Chinese or pizza or sometimes burgers and fries. Johnny takes his food to his room because he likes to relax with his video games and Suzy sits on the couch in the living room to watch her shows, and I watch the news in the kitchen.”

Yes, the modern American family has changed since I was little. Of course we didn’t have all the fun electronics, and mom got to stay home and was able to cook a simple meal every night for us. We were not well off and meals were simple (yes, the old meat, potato, vegetable for dinner, or sometimes pasta fagioli). And it was unheard of that all four children would not sit at the table as a family. Now, things are different. Every situation is different of course, but what I see is that things cost so much, usually both parents have to work (or maybe it is a single parent, and this is even harder). Children get involved with sports, homework is getting harder and harder (according to my friends who have young children) and performance matters. Responsibilities at work often spill over to home (now that we have computers and internet, it sometimes feels like we have no excuse to tune out our working world). Before, when we punched out, work was over. Not anymore. And so, we make our priorities, and cooking a five course dinner, spending an hour eating leisurely while we chat is almost a joke to even think about.

And yet, we have an epidemic of people worrying about their weight, their children’s weight, their health, etc. People are not just having an occasional, fleeting thought about weight. They are sometimes spending lots and lots of time and money on products, books, plans, supplements, shakes and mental energy on this stuff. We have a nation of weight watchers and dieters who feel guilty eating sometimes. Lots of energy is spent on trying NOT to eat, not on enjoying food. In fact, food is often treated as “the enemy”. How many times have you heard someone say “get that away from me!” or “don’t leave that here, take it home!” or better yet, “Why did I eat that? I feel so bad”. I promise you, I never heard words like this in Italy (but then again, I don’t speak or understand Italian….). Anyway, food and meals were treated differently. Is there a connection between the way we Americans treat food and our obsession with weight? I think so.

There is not only an emotional/psychological connection, there is a physiological one. We know that eating fast does not give our body enough time to detect fullness. Therefore, running around nibbling or grabbing food and gobbling it down leads to a disconnect from our mind and body. People tell me “I am never hungry” or “I never feel full”. We also know that in order for our brains to release the messenger to make us feel “satisfied” and want to stop eating, we actually do need to look at our food and be aware of the taste, and appreciate the flavor. Researchers have found that one of the roles leptin may play is to gradually increase dopamine (a feel-good chemical). When we are in need of energy and our body detects it, leptin drives us to eat but it also helps us feel satisfied because of the “pleasure” of food. When ample dopamine is available, there’s less need to generate more (in other words, no need to overeat). Important Note: all brains are not the same. Some people truly can’t control eating some foods and it is not their fault. To those of you who struggle with this I always support whatever strategy or coping skill you know works for you. But for those of you who are simply struggling with random mindless eating, working on slowing down and being more cognitive of your enjoyment of food is important if you are one of those people who are always dieting and concerned with weight.

Here is an example: have you ever had a desire for a specific food (say, pizza) but did not feel it was a healthy choice, or maybe you are dieting and it definitely is not on your diet plan……so you do everything in your power to resist giving in. You decide you will make a salad with grilled chicken instead, but after eating it you just don’t feel satisfied (plus, you really weren’t in the mood for chicken and there was absolutely no enjoyment). So you decided to grab a few crackers. That didn’t help. How about some fruit, that’s healthy. Still no satisfaction. Add on rice cakes, yogurt, more fruit. Now, your tummy is feeling a bit full and confused. You finally break down and order some pizza. After a few slices you are definitely too full, and not feeling too good. Instead, wouldn’t it be a better idea if you had originally just ordered pizza? If you sat down and enjoyed a few slices with no distraction, you would definitely have felt better. Yet, people (especially dieters) get it stuck in their heads that they can only eat certain foods and they will surely gain weight if they eat something not considered diet-friendly (in other words, fattening, like pizza, right?) But is pizza really “fattening” if you only eat enough to satisfy your hunger, feel normal fullness (no tummy ache) and get rid of that craving? If you avoid eating all of those “permitted” foods that don’t get rid of your craving anyway? Can you just give yourself permission to choose a food just because you really enjoy it?

If you can start to pay attention to your true preferences, that is a first step. The next step is taking just a few minutes for a reality check. Your schedule is different than mine, and mine is different than my neighbor’s, co-worker’s and my sister’s. I am the only one who knows what I have to do this week. YOU are the only one who knows what YOUR week looks like. What do you HAVE to do and where do you HAVE to be?  I don’t have teenagers to cart around anymore so I don’t have to pick up my son at football practice at 6 pm or drive my daughter to her friend’s house to do a project. Instead, I may have flower beds to weed, and windows to wash, or parties to plan. I like watching The Blacklist, or Designated Survivor but thanks to modern technology, a favorite TV show is not a HAVE TO anymore. But I do know that on Sundays I have to get to that grocery store so I can cook in the late afternoon, usually making something extra (such as grilling or roasting extra chicken that was on sale) so that I can pop into freezer bags to use later in the week when I come how and there is “no food” in the house. I have found you can make a variety of fast meals with grilled chicken (chicken quesadilla, chicken Caesar, chicken and pasta, chicken salad, chicken and rice, etc). The point being, I have learned the only time I can carve out is usually on Sunday afternoon. I arrange visiting my mom, socializing with friends, writing, work stuff, etc. at other times. But I have made it a priority to be sure I have healthy but yummy food available during the week so that I don’t have to spend money ordering out and so my husband and I can easily have time to connect during the week (even for that short dinner time, it still is quality time). When you have kids who are doing things and going places, this is not as easy, but even more important to look ahead and plan. If you are the type of person who kind of “flies by the seat of your pants” then this may not be easy. It means stopping for a minute, finding a calendar and writing things down. Who has what and when? Is there a flexible day or consistent time where you can carve out a time to cook? Freezer bags help. Then, even if it is only one day a week to start (that is how busy families are these days) at least you can plan that one sit-down dinner with your partner or family, or even if it is just yourself. Make it special by lighting a candle. Turn off all electronics. If you are not someone who is ever going to cook, then whatever it is (can of raviolis, frozen dinner or take-out) just practice slowing down. Take it out of the wrapper or whatever, put it on a plate, take the time to look at your meal and then slowly enjoy it in a mindful way. As you practice this slowing down and derive some pleasure with eating a meal, you will find yourself not only enjoying the process but feeling more connected to your body and your fullness. For those of you with families and kids, giving them this experience is a gift they will pass on. It will be a memory they likely will cherish forever. Even if it is only on Sunday.

The bottom line: slow down.

Food is not the enemy. It should be a joyful part of life that adds to your health in more ways than protein, vitamins and minerals. Bon appetit!

Trying to Lose Weight? 5 Reasons You Should Never Have a “Goal Weight”

On By jodietitianIn Uncategorized5 Comments

Mannequins head“I want to look like a supermodel” she said. Her answer to my simple question of “how can I help you” threw me. “Have you ever seen a supermodel?” I asked. “No” she said. “Then how do you know you want to look like one?” was my response. She was a young woman who needed some nutrition guidance, referred to me by someone who was worried about her eating habits. Although I loved her brutal honesty, I had to regroup to figure out what direction to go with this. Before I did anything I needed to find out much more. Oh, and she had a very specific weight in mind that she felt would accomplish this goal.

As is usually the case, when someone is bent on focusing on such a specific physical goal, there usually are other matters going on. I was relieved to hear that she had a therapist so I proceeded to find out more regarding her eating and exercise habits before I rushed into education and explaining why wanting to look like a supermodel was not a reasonable goal. To be clear, although this is a true story, it could be anyone I have seen over the past 30 years (and although I am changing a bit of the specifics as I usually do, her eating and lifestyle are not unusual and could be anyone’s). It was her statement about the supermodel that was a bit more direct than any I have heard, as usually people don’t come out and admit this. Somehow, deep down, I am guessing most of us understand this is not a smart goal and would never say it out loud.

The funny thing is when I asked her if she had ever actually seen a supermodel, she said “no” but then asked “have you?” I answered yes, because I had worked with a male model years ago who gave me lots of details about the unhealthy behaviors the models did before a shoot. Basically, they would starve and dehydrate themselves to look “cut” and then when the work was done, the binge eating began. Clearly, the image you saw in the finished photo was not the image of a body that was natural or that could be maintained more than a week or two (without serious consequences, such as hospitalization due to dehydration which happens often). Or worse. Yes, there are many people who are naturally super-tall and super-thin, and there may indeed be models who eat normally. In his situation however, this was not the case.

Anyway, it was her honest statement that motivated me to write about the insanity of having weight goals. I realized that so many people go blindly on their way getting themselves into ridiculous, stressful, self-esteem damaging lifestyles that sometimes go on for years, all because of a stupid “weight goal”. I hate numbers in general, and when it comes to a fluid, changing, living body, something that will never be static, never be the same day to day, I dislike the use of numbers even more. What baffles me sometimes is how a person decides on the magical number. In many cases, people pick a number from their past. “When I was in high school, I fit into size ‘x’ and I weighed 140 pounds, so that is what I should weigh”, or “I read that ‘famous model/actress so and so’ is my height and weighs ‘x’ so that is what I should weigh”. And on and on. For most of the people I have seen, there is no way to reach that magical weight and live a life in any healthy, sane or even safe way.

You might be wondering “what is the big deal? Why not have a definite goal in mind?”  Here are the 5 reasons to forget about weight goals:

  1. Your body has a “Set-point” weight range it will fight to keep. I think of my father who was living proof of the meaning of “set-point” weight range. He was someone who I believe truly listened to his hunger cues and ate what he wanted. Being a traditional Italian and growing up with salami, sausage, fried peppers, Parmesan and fresh Italian bread he knew nothing about calories or nutrition. This is not why he ate. He ate the foods he loved and the meals my mom cooked. Every Sunday was pasta, meatballs, sausage, bread and sauce. He would sit there for what seemed like an hour and devour and savor his meal. He wasn’t big on sweets most of his life unless he craved something, then would have a good serving. His weight never really changed. How could this be, when he never spent a minute trying to figure it out? Set-point.
  2. You can ruin your set-point if you diet. I will never forget a patient I had years ago who had an eating disorder and would restrict then binge eat. She was in the health field and she understood what was going on when she did this however she had it stuck in her mind that she should weigh 125 pounds. She weighed 135 pounds. She had reached her goal at times through extreme behaviors however these could not be maintained due to the triggers for binge eating that resulted from her restrictions. She dropped out of treatment and I had not seen her in years. About 5 years had passed and lo and behold, she returned. The reason she returned she said was “I don’t want my set-point to go any higher”. She weighed 145 pounds (still within a normal weight range for her, but 10 pounds above what had been her norm). She knew it was her disordered eating behaviors that affected her natural set-point weight. All because she would not accept her natural body weight. When you have to experience extreme hunger every day in order to stay at a certain weight, then this is not your set-point weight range. And if you are binge eating then alternating with strict dieting as a result of wanting to be a certain weight, then you are at risk for ruining your natural set-point.
  3.  When you focus on a number you get disconnected from your body’s natural signals. Most people who have a weight goal in mind weigh themselves on a regular basis. When they jump on that scale and it does not move, they tend to jump up the restriction (“I am going to be good today”). What happens is they become more “cognitive” and less “intuitive” with their eating. They “figure out” what they should have for lunch and eat only the amount they believe will result in weight loss. What happens instead is they most likely do not eat enough calories, fat or carbohydrates. This imbalance triggers the brain to step up the appetite, and especially cravings for those particular foods that are being restricted. The cravings kick up a notch. Finally, whatever the trigger the dieter breaks down and has “just one” but then, that “just one” leads to another and another…..and another. The body is smart and won’t shut up until it is in balance again. The problem is the mind takes over and leads us to binge because we “are going to start tomorrow”. And the cycle of disconnection begins. Does this lead us to our natural and healthiest body weight range? No.
  4. That magical number has nothing to do with health. The issues of health and “obesity” has been argued before, with those saying weight is related to health. The reality is that having a healthy body is much more complicated than a number on the scale and has much more to do with lifestyle (and genetics of course). If you have a goal weight in mind, as you can see, the behaviors people tend to engage in do nothing to enhance their health. In fact, the opposite is likely true. Dieting to lose weight rarely contributes to health. If being healthier is something you care about then if you focus on restricting and losing weight you are missing the boat.
  5. It is only when you let go of that magical goal weight number that you will be able to actually move in the sane direction of achieving a healthy (and happy) you. I don’t try to talk people out of wanting to feel good about the way they look.We all want that. But, from what I have seen, most people who diet to lose weight and are successful (for a while) do feel good about themselves at first. But if they don’t get off the yo-yo diet cycle and regain that weight, they do not tend to feel good about themselves at all. If, however, they stop focusing on that number and instead begin the road of truly reflecting on their health habits (which yes, do include healthier,not perfect, eating) then the journey can begin. This is a long journey and is not predictable like a diet. There are no promises. It is about exploring your lifestyle and identifying the things that are doing you in.  Do you notice yourself mindlessly eating in front of the TV at night? Do you hate to cook so Chinese and pizza are a daily thing? Do you work late and struggle to fit in any kind of physical activity? Are you up until 3 am playing video games? Do you eat out of stress because you hate your job? Or, are you in a dangerous spiral of self-abusive disordered eating habits that you are yet to get help for? These are the types of things that need to be addressed that NO one diet can fix.

 

If any of this rings a bell, I hope you think long and hard about picking some random magical goal weight. Instead of wasting the energy doing unhealthy and impermanent things to get there (a place that probably has nothing to do with the real you), consider going in a different direction for once. Learn what healthy eating and healthy cooking is. Take the time to reflect on your lifestyle, and start with even one thing you want to change. Educate yourself about what it means to have a healthy lifestyle. Talk to friends you know well and trust, who you think manage to live this way and you might find out some strategies that might work for you, too, in this busy world. Work on intuitive eating and pay attention to all of the messages your body gives you every single day. Make your mistakes, feel yucky, but then learn from them. Over the months and years, guess what I have seen happen when people do this? They often just naturally land within a weight range that is truly natural for them. They do this while enjoying eating and good food, and living life to the fullest.

For more information on the negative impact of dieting, check out: Has Dieting Ruined Your Metabolism?

 

 

 

Restrained Eating Vs Intuitive Eating: Finding the Balance

On By jodietitianIn Uncategorized1 Comment

donut vs apple and womanI was not surprised when my doctor told me I needed to take a calcium and vitamin D supplement after a recent bone density exam. Being at the age where bone density starts to diminish, and being a dietitian on top of it, I was fully aware that my intake of calcium was sub-optimal. But time flies by, doesn’t it? No matter how much I know about nutrition, somehow here I am. Although I do believe in good nutrition I have never been a fan of thinking about it too much (unusual maybe for someone in my field of work).

The reality is that dietitians and nutritionists are probably at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to “cognitive restraint”, or using your head to figure out what to eat instead of listening to your body. Our training can make it kind of difficult to “listen to your body” or “eat intuitively” which often translates into “eat whatever you want for heaven’s sake”. So, although I was well-aware of my dietary inadequacy, I admit to leaning more heavily into the “eat whatever you want for heaven’s sake” mentality…..which was not too good for my bones apparently.

When you hear the term “intuitive eating” it typically is in reference to dieting behavior and offered as an alternative to stop the insanity of dieting. Yes, billions of people diet to lose weight, and many yo-yo, gaining and losing the same weight year after year (which we know is not good for our health, yet it is hard to give up that hope that this time it will stick). Despite the statistics on the failure of diets, I don’t tell people what to do and will support those who wish to follow some type of guideline because for some people, re-learning how to eat can be very helpful, and yes, it can stick. But this is probably rare, and from what I have seen at least in my patients is when it “sticks”too much it is really disordered eating. When it “sticks” in a non-harmful way is when individuals truly change detrimental habits even when they no longer are following a specific “diet plan”. So, how can you prevent the negative consequences of “cognitive” eating yet also avoid the repercussions of interpreting “intuitive eating” as meaning  “eat whatever you want”? The trick is learning how to do both: be “cognitive”, but also intuitive, gradually interweaving both into your eating style so that you can be both healthy and sane.

The first step is to try to determine if you are a “restrained eater”. Although “cognitive restraint” is often defined by the experts  as “the intent to limit food intake to prevent weight gain or to promote weight loss” to keep it simple, I like to think of cognitive restraint as “using your head to figure out what to eat” despite the signals coming from your body. Sometimes people think too much about food even if it is not because of weight related issues. For example, it is lunch time and you brought a salad. You are absolutely famished, craving a burger but will not allow yourself to go to the cafeteria to get one. You read somewhere that red meat is bad for you so you are not going to eat it. Or, it is 9 pm at night, you are counting your calories and according to your records, you still have 200 calories left that you can eat. You are not hungry at all…..yet you go ahead and pop some popcorn because you like popcorn and you “can have it” since it is just the correct amount of calories. You don’t pay any attention to the fact that you are not hungry. Both situations are examples of “cognitive” restraint, using your head and ignoring your body. Both examples are contrary to “intuitive” eating.

For research, investigators use very specific tools to evaluate if someone is a restrained eater or not. Some of the common characteristics of restrained eaters include, but are not limited to:

  • frequent dieting
  • counting calories
  • self-weighing
  • excessive fear of weight gain
  • guilt after eating
  • food avoidance
  • labeling foods as “good” or “bad”

For our purposes, if you can relate to any of these statements, you may have some characteristics of restrained eating. For those of us who are dietitians or nutritionists, or even those of you who educate yourself about foods and nutrition, you can also fall into the trap of too much thinking about what you eat. I have seen extremes in thinking when it comes to nutrition, with fads coming and going as well as information that is not evidence-based. Some examples include avoiding gluten at all costs, not eating carbs,avoiding foods with added sugar, avoiding processed foods, etc. Some people need to be on special diets due to medical conditions or allergies, or even having a digestive intolerance to a food. Avoiding GMO’s or choosing to eat organic or fresh food is not what I am talking about. It is having an unreasonable fear of foods that on occasion have no affect on health whatsoever. Missing out on eating your grandmother’s famous sticky buns on a holiday because you have chosen to avoid gluten (without evidence of an allergy or medical condition) is restrained eating. Feeling guilty because you “don’t eat processed foods” yet gave in and bought some Girl Scout Cookies to support your niece (plus you LOVE Thin Mints) is also unrealistic. Refusing to eat a meal in a restaurant because you don’t know what they put in it (even if you don’t have food allergies) might be an issue. If what you allow and don’t allow yourself to eat tends to interfere with your social life, well, that may suggest a problem.

What about “Intuitive Eating”? The basic principles of intuitive eating can be found on the website Intuitive Eating. Basically, learning to be more intuitive with eating means getting re-connected with your natural body signals, rejecting the “diet mentality” and relearning how to trust your body’s natural wisdom. This sounds simple, but it is downright scary for many. “If I let myself eat what I want, I will gain 50 pounds! I will live on cookies and ice cream!” or so the thinking goes. To be honest, from what I have seen in former patients, the process of moving into a more intuitive eating style is different for every single person and depends on their unique eating/dieting history. I have seen people do exactly that: live on ice cream for a week. If you have lived for several decades denying yourself certain foods and suddenly the bars come down, it is almost instinctual to dive in! But a funny thing tends to happen. You honestly and truly DO get sick of ice cream. Suddenly, grilled chicken looks very appealing. The wisdom of your body really does win out in the end. But the path is not always simple or easy (which is why I always recommend anyone who has a history of dieting and is tired of it seek the help of a therapist and a dietitian, preferably both who have experience working with individuals with eating issues). Some people do fine on their own, after reading the book Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole (Author), Elyse Resch (Author) they can gradually make the changes they need to free themselves and move into a healthier relationship with eating and food.

The question is, how do we be both “intuitive” and eat what we want while listening to our natural body signals (and trusting them) yet also be “cognitive” in a way that helps us make smart and healthy decisions about eating? I feel ignoring nutrition is a mistake. I like the term suggested with intuitive eating called “gentle nutrition”. The reality is, if we eat a variety of all of the food groups (meats or protein foods, fruits and veggies, grains or starches or other carbs, dairy and fat) we tend to crave less. Imbalances trigger cravings. Remember the chemical messengers our bodies have to tell our brains what we are missing?  For example, serotonin levels drop in our brains when we don’t get enough carbs and trigger us to want sugar or sweets (survival!). Yes, our bodies are pretty darn smart that way. Eating well also makes us feel well. Learning what makes you feel your best (with foods that you actually really enjoy) is key. One example I often give is eating adequate protein to avoid that afternoon blood sugar crash. Without it, you will almost be guaranteed to run out of energy and be excessively hungry which is really irritating when you are at work and there is no fridge to run to. So planning to include your favorite yummy protein packed lunch is not what I call excessive “cognitive” restraint, but smart and enjoyable eating. Yes, you do have to think about it. But over time, you start to find your favorite, doable, somewhat healthy meals and snacks that taste good and make you feel good. You may make mistakes, you may change your mind (we all get burnt out on foods, even our favorites) and so you experiment with other meals and foods. The key is to keep learning through trial and error. You do have to educate yourself a bit about nutrition (the basics, not fads, even the My Plate government website is helpful for basic nutrition info if you can promise me you will ignore the weight loss focus of some of the links). Once you get a basic idea of how to balance meals to feel good and meet your basic needs, experimenting with cooking is also helpful. Last night I took my mom grocery shopping and made her favorite black bean and corn salad. She just loves it, and to watch her tasting it, you would have thought she was eating something amazing (to her it was, to me it is just bean salad, good, but not lobster salad which is much more amazing if you ask me). The point is, good food should be yummy, too.

For those of you interested in the reasons restrained eating often leads to increased hunger, you may enjoy the research article  Cognitive Restraint and Appetite Regulating Hormones which describes a connection between ghrelin, the “hungry” messenger and dietary restraint. Despite the leaps and bounds we have made in understanding how what we eat affects our brain chemistry and appetite, there’s lots we still don’t know. All the more reason to work on a better connection to the natural wisdom of your body.

One more thing. Clearly, knowledge about nutrition does not translate into action. I was well aware that I probably was not getting enough calcium in my diet (the ice cream in my morning coffee, yogurt and grated cheese on everything was not enough). Don’t be like me and wait for something to happen. I did purchase that supplement. Now I need to remember to take it : O

One step at a time.

Lifestyle Advice on How to Live a Long and Meaningful Life: From Elsa,102 Years Young and Going Strong

On By jodietitianIn UncategorizedLeave a comment
Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, sitting and indoor
The “Dignified”Ms. Elsa

We were all (slowly) scrambling to get changed into bathing suits and pack up some towels to go to the pool. Being in vacation mode makes everything less urgent. But I was all ready, obnoxious gaudy pink flower flip flops and all, and Elsa was ready, too. Being away for a few weeks on vacation in Florida has not given me much time to write, but when I heard she was going to be down here too, I knew what I wanted to write about. Elsa is our friend’s mother who just happens to be celebrating her 102 birthday next week. We went to her 100 year celebration 2 years ago, and when the dust settled the next day I remember popping in to her apartment (attached to my friend’s home) to take advantage of the time to chat. To me, anyone older than me is a rich source of knowledge and experience just waiting to be tapped….it you take the time. I feel many of us are so busy with our own lives and problems that we forget that older people who have been around a lot longer than we have, probably have experienced what you may be struggling with today. They often have the answers you may have never considered just because they have “been there, done that”. They have learned priceless lessons (we may be blessed to learn ourselves if we live long enough)….but I want to know now!

Anyway, back then, 2 years ago, we did sit and chat as she sipped her tea and ate a few Milano cookies (which mean cookies are ok if you ask me, Elsa would know). The problem is that I was so mesmerized by her stories of family, passion, love and the changes in her life and how she coped that I did not write down anything. So here I was again, with a bit of time with Elsa, and although I did not want to bother her as she was relaxing in her comfy chair overlooking a peaceful lake, I knelt down beside her to chat. Her hearing is not as good as it used to be apparently but she had no problem hearing any of my questions and answering me in her straightforward, honest and crystal clear way.

Elsa has been through a lot in her life. Early on she married, then after having had 4 children, through unfortunate circumstances, had to raise them on her own. Back then, it was an unusual woman who could do this, but being the strong woman that she is, she did. She also was unusual in that she had a career: she was a nurse. She worked during the war and because of her passion for her work, the doctors all sent their patients to Elsa’s ward. Elsa worked on all areas of medicine and loved it all. When she talks about nursing, you can feel her pride. “I have never given it up” she tells me. “I will always be a nurse”. She explained that in her daily life she is always aware of people in need. If she sees someone struggling with groceries or their jacket, even a complete stranger, she will offer help. This gives her great joy and really touched me. Helping others. That definitely is going on the Live a Long Life lifestyle list. In fact, some of the words that came out of her mouth yesterday were so simple yet so profound….advice she had because of what she lived through. Easy to say, not easy to do.

Eventually, Elsa met an Italian man that stepped into her life and changed it forever. She says “he was the love of my life”. When she talks about him you can still feel her love for him. Her eyes well up and so do mine as she describes their lives together. This love clearly nourished her and fulfilled her in a way that she still feels. Love. It should go on the list if you ask me.

Anyway, there is no way to truly capture all the details, however here are the golden nuggets of advice I heard from Elsa. Her daughter-in-law used one word to describe her: “dignified”and it certainly does. Remember, these are Elsa’s answers to my simple question: what advice do you have for a happy and healthy life?

  • Eat Well: by eating well, Elsa means “eat everything”. Her sister was a picky eater according to Elsa, but everyone loved Elsa because she would eat anything that was put in front of her. She did explain that she also eats healthy however it seems to me, in my few experiences with her and food, that she chooses a wide variety of foods. At the pool that day (which was a bit cool and breezy for a Florida day) she ordered a clam chowder from the restaurant. It was thick and creamy, and yummy and I did not hear Elsa make one comment about calories or fat. Savoring a variety of good food is eating well.
  • Stay active: Elsa walks. She used to walk longer and now, although she still does short walks, she “does not do anything strenuous”. She does not want to hurt herself. To me, this is wise advice. How many of us think nothing is good enough unless it gets our heart rate up to a certain point, or makes us sweat, or burns X amount of calories? And so we never start moving because it is just too NOT fun. Instead, why not take Elsa’s advice and simply “be active”. Skip the ridiculous criteria we place on ourselves and just move and have fun. Elsa also dances. Oh, and she sings in the church choir, too. Singing counts.
  • When it comes to drinking alcohol, Elsa is “moderate”: Elsa says “I avoid extremes”. She may have a glass of wine with dinner, but other than that it sounds like smart advice. This is a hard one for those of us on vacation!
  • Forgive others: Elsa told me she has learned not to hold on to anything, especially if someone hurts you. Holding a grudge only hurts you, and you should try to let go of it. I have always believed forgiveness is really for yourself. Being angry and holding on to a anger affects your body in all kinds of negative ways. When you truly forgive, YOU get the gift of feeling better. The other person really does not matter, and is not the reason to forgive. It is for yourself. It is amazing to me that of all the lessons learned over 102 years of life, this is one she felt so important that she mentioned it (I remember 2 years ago she mentioned the same thing). Must be important.
  • Have a passion: Elsa’s was nursing. To this day, when she talks about it, you can see her light up. I don’t think it matters what your passion is, but if you don’t have one, if there is nothing in your life that lights your soul it might be something to reflect on.
  • Help others: this goes hand in hand with Elsa’s passion. It could be why she went into nursing in the first place, because she enjoys helping others. Although it is even more than that, more than simple “enjoyment”. You can tell it is part of who she is, it fulfills her. I don’t think we need to be a nurse or change our professions to reap this benefit. You can start today to help others, even in the simplest of ways. Open a door, pick up a bag, hold the elevator. Help someone and see how it feels. Feeling joy is definitely good for your body.
  • Accept what God gives you in life: Elsa emphasized that we are not in control of everything and it is important to learn to accept our circumstances and make the best of it. She certainly did. We all know people who have been dealt some difficult hands and yet they remain joyful and thankful, with energy to spare. And then there are those who blow up the simplest of problems into giant size issues in their own minds, negatively affecting those around them, and even their own health. From Elsa I have learned you can either complain and stay stuck, or you can move on and make the best of it. It is our choice (although for some with depression or other mental health issues, we can’t always do it on our own). I always say, if you find yourself miserable and truly can’t get out of it, get professional help. It is not your fault.
  • Faith: although Elsa did not come out and use the word “faith”, she told me that for her entire life, as long as she can remember she has said the same prayer every single morning. She was able to tell me the prayer, which I am including with her permission at the end. Clearly, from the words, she relied on her faith every single day of her long life.

Obviously, genetics plays a role in how long you live, but how you live is a choice we all make daily. How we think, our feelings that we choose to have all affect our body’s and health even more than the food we put in (and we all know people who fret about food but not about how they treat others). With the New Year approaching, and resolutions coming to mind, I hope you consider shifting your focus off of changing your body to changing your mind and heart.

Elsa’s Morning Prayer

“Good Morning Lord,

You’ve ushered in a brand new day untouched and freshly new,

And here I come and ask you God if You’ll renew me, too.

Forget the many errors that I made yesterday, and let me try again dear Lord to walk closer in your way.

But Father, I am well aware I can’t make it on my own,

so take my hand and hold it tight for I can’t walk alone.

Amen”.

“Listening to Your Body”: not always easy

On By jodietitianIn Uncategorized1 Comment

Christmas Cookies 2

In the midst of the holiday season the effort to “listen to your body” as far as eating is concerned is not an easy task for many. This article by a fellow dietitian (one of the most sane nutritionists I have ever encountered) is really insightful as far as feeling full and what it means. If you struggle with being in tune with your hunger, read on for some good advice: How Full Should I Be? by Glenys Oyston

 

7 Health Tips I Learned From My Week With an Eight and Ten Year Old

On By jodietitianIn UncategorizedLeave a comment
The Face of Joy

I spent at least a week preparing for their visit. It would be the first time two special little girls were flying for their first time in an airplane to come for their very first visit to the East Coast. My son has been raving about his girlfriend’s two little girls for a few years now, and how special they were. He really wanted our large Italian family to meet them, and so this Thanksgiving things finally fell together and they came to visit for the week.

 

Melanie is eight and Savannah is ten, and I really wanted them to feel at home. If you have never been to Justice, a store for little girls (and those who love unicorns) and you have a little girl you need to impress, well Justice is your store. I picked up two colorful and glittery pillows in the shape of an “M” and “S” for their beds. I bought Z bars and Flip Yogurts, their favorite snacks. I picked up some cool coloring books and colored pencils. I could just picture them sitting and peacefully coloring.

And they did. For a minute or two. What I quickly learned was that these two little girls, age 8 and 10 had a different idea of how they like to spend their time. Think perpetual motion interspersed with sudden bouts of quiet when they would become intrigued with something that caught their eye. I found myself belly laughing, suddenly playing, being joyfully buried in leaves, hula hooping, making up dance moves and in general, totally immersed in their lifestyle. Now that the dust has finally settled, the sheets are washed and changed in the guest room, the random socks and trinkets have been found and the leftovers gone, I have realized I learned a lot from those energetic sweethearts……so I wanted to share it. Maybe it can help you consider other strategies to be healthy besides the rigid controls we try to put in place in our lives that tend to set us up for failure. Maybe it isn’t that hard after all if you think like an eight year old. So, for all you little girls at heart, here are the tips:

  1. When it comes to making decisions about what to eat, pick your favorite.  The girls and their mom have never seen Boston and so we did a day trip there, and started out at Faneuil Hall. If you have never been there it can only be described as a 2 block long building lined with vendors serving every food imaginable. Seafood, Asian, burgers, ice cream, Southern, Italian, candy, smoothies, you name it. After inspecting the entire place with a slow walk-through I volunteered to take the girls back to get what they wanted. For me, this is always torture. I can’t make up my mind but usually end up getting the gigantic scallops wrapped in crispy bacon since I never make that at home. I assumed the girls were going to take forever, this being their first visit. Nope. They knew exactly what they wanted. One picked macaroni and cheese with broccoli and chicken, and the other picked barbecue chicken wings with a side of carrots (honestly) and they both wanted yogurt smoothies. When we got to the smoothie counter, I panicked as there were about 99 choices. It took less than a minute for them to pick out what they wanted (one mango and one papaya). How did they do that? I was jealous. Then, it occurred to me that for a child picking your favorite things is logical. They are not thinking like I do (what can’t I make at home? what will sustain me for this entire day?). Nope, they very calmly and intuitively picked what they wanted. Phew. But the carrots….? Later on we did get to the famous Italian bakery where they also immediately knew what flavor gelato they wanted.
  2. You don’t have to finish it. I chuckled several times when I would find an apple that was nibbled around the middle (best part) like a little squirrel had gotten a hold of it. Or the half eaten banana pancakes and 3/4 piece of toast and nutella. Milk or hot cocoa cups left 1/4 full. Two out of six chicken wings consumed, the rest brought home for another time. Yes, these little girls were pretty intuitive when it came to how much to eat. Thankfully, their mom was fine about them leaving food or drinks, most of which was wrapped for a later snack (or consumed by my son). It struck me how natural it was for them to listen to their fullness, but how hard it is for many adults. It is a “sin to throw food away” to some of us. But why does that mean we have to stuff it in and possibly get that uncomfortable too full feeling just because we need to clean our plate? Yes, the fridge gets kind of cluttered with those little wrapped leftovers, however feeling good matters too. FYI they did consume entire grinders at Subway (6 inch) after a long hike in the woods. They were hungry, nothing left but a few scraps of lettuce (and most of the mini-bag of chips).
  3. Spend a lot of time outdoors. I will never look at a pile of leaves the same way. Their first day here the only thing on their minds was getting outside to jump in leaves. Apparently, this does not happen much in Colorado where they live since most of the trees are evergreen. Thankfully, we never finished our fall cleanup since the leaves were late in falling. They threw on jackets and ran outside, grabbed the rakes and in no time had a gigantic pile. They thoughtfully planned out how they were going to do this. They lined up about 20 feet away and bolted, jumping joyfully into the pile as if they just entered Disney world. They did this for hours. Coats came off, hats were thrown as their bodies got warmed up from all the moving. Of course I let them bury me so that I could scare my son and pop out of the leaves once they brought him out of the house to find me (hint: if you have a touch of claustrophobia and feel like you can’t breath under a pile of leaves, if you make a tiny tunnel to see the sky it really helps. The quiet under their is heavenly when you can breathe). At night we had a bonfire and these girls ran around with my nephew’s 6 year old daughter for hours into the night. Chasing the dogs, squealing, their joy was contagious. Yes, it was a bit cool, but that’s what jackets and hats and gloves are for. I forgot how fun it was to play outside. It felt so good.
  4.  Break the rules, go off the beaten path. Getting into trouble and breaking the law is not what I am talking about. We adults tend to walk on the sidewalk, or on a marked trail with a destination in mind. We don’t always notice the beautiful things around us as we go where we are going. These girls don’t miss any opportunity to explore. While walking through Boston Savannah just blurted out “I want to climb something!” This random declaration made me laugh! Who thinks like that? Well, we eventually came upon the statue of Paul Revere on his horse, which the girls did try to climb but weren’t too successful. However they were successful in finding a stairwell that led up to a balcony near the giant Christmas Tree near Faneuil Hall for a much better view. Not enough time to list all of the other wonderful experiences I had just because I was with two little girls who knew how to have fun…off the beaten path.
  5. Rock-Paper-Scissors really solves problems. Don’t you get tired of arguing with adults about things that often don’t really matter? You want to go to the movies. They want to go visit friends. You want to order pizza, they want Chinese. You want the remote. They want the remote. And on and on and on. I know couples who think way to much about the reasons it should be their way. There are always good reasons on both sides, but last week I witnessed first hand how rocks-paper-scissors solves problems and quickly restores peace. Try it. Living in a peaceful environment is good for our bodies.
  6. Think about others and have empathy. We may think of little kids as instinctively selfish and wanting everything for themselves. They have not gone through much yet in their little lives and it is a learning process. I was blown away however by the instinctual empathy and caring that these little girls showed during their week with us. Granted, they are blessed to have a wonderful family and love in their lives, and that surely helps. But, it seemed to me they were simply being kids. For example, many children love their stuffed animals. They often treat them like they are real, giving them the best spot on the couch, in bed, on the car ride, etc. Well, one day I decided to take the girls to a Nature Center with a gift store, animal barns and lots of hiking trails in the woods. We spent time in the little museum, I let them pick one small item from the little gift shop (Savannah picked a mini-bear that came in a mini-backpack, and Melanie picked the same thing but a bunny). The girls were delighted with these tiny 2 inch toys and so we proceeded to harass the cows and chickens, and then started on one of the trails. It went on and on, and after about 45 minutes of hiking in the woods I decided we should turn around because it was not coming out back on the main road where I thought it would. And it was getting cloudy. We started back and Melanie spotted a log she just had to try to walk across. We convinced her to keep moving so we could get back. As we walked, Melanie was trying to come up with a name for her bunny, finally settling on “Pouchy”. Only about 3 minutes later, she suddenly cried “I can’t find Pouchy!” Oh no. Her sister tried to help her search her pockets. She was sobbing. We turned around and retraced our steps all the way to the log where she last had it, but it was no where to be found. So we headed back as her sister and I tried to console her. I stupidly said “the store is still open, maybe we can get another one!”. Wrong thing to say, as Savannah filled me in: you can’t replace something you already named. Well, if you are an uncaring adult who does not understand you can. But if you are an empathetic and loving child, of course you can’t replace it. There is only one Pouchy. It felt like a death just occurred. I was hoping this would not ruin our entire day. Thankfully, right as we got back to the spot where the meltdown occurred, Savannah spotted her sister’s little pet. Thank God. She dried her tears (with the help of her sister) and on to the next adventure we went. I wish I could bottle the energy from that week. Thinking about others, truly caring about their feelings gives us an amazing feeling that has to be good for our bodies, too.
  7. Crash when you need to. My body felt like I ran a marathon the day they left. Those girls have energy, but the one thing I noticed was they also listened to their body when they were finally spent. They would plop on the floor, grab those coloring books and pencils and go to town with art work. Or maybe cuddle on the couch and watch a cartoon for awhile. Sometimes, they would just jump up to be held with their head on your shoulder. I don’t think we adults give ourselves permission to do that when we need to. We tend to tune out our bodies because we have “things to do”. And then we may get overly tired, grumpy or even sick. Instead, take it from the girls, have a blast but take a rest when you need it.

There are more stories to tell about that week that would make you laugh for sure. Maybe my week with these little girls was so special because it was a reminder of how I used to be. It is not easy to remember that simple living, and not possible to truly live like an 8 year old, but certainly there are some lessons to be learned about what is truly important in life as far as having a healthy body and mind.

As they say, “Tis the Season to Be Jolly”. Maybe we can make it last past the holidays!