This morning I finally sat down to dig out my Christmas Cookie recipes that I have made every single year for the past 36 years (or more). Some of them were almost illegible having been written on scraps of paper that happened to be what was available at my Auntie Maryanne’s house (my mom’s sister, and the one who baked in the family and therefore had the very best recipes). There are a few other favorites such as the candy cane sugar cookie recipe. My younger sister Fran was taking a home economics class in high school at the time (1976?) and came home with these absolutely delicious sugar cookies in the shape of a candy cane. That recipe I finally had to rewrite since it was so faded after all these years. Another addition to the original Auntie Maryanne list was an Italian almond paste cookie that I searched for after having some at Michael’s Italian Bakery in Boston that were so good, I went on a search to recreate them. The recipe isn’t exactly the same but dang, pretty darn close.
So the final traditional list I have acquired consists of Auntie Maryanne’s Chinese Chews, Jelly Print Cookies, Peanut Butter Blossoms, Walnut Butterballs, and Merry Cheesecake Squares. The ones added on (with a story behind each and every one that evokes a memory of a special person in my past) include Thyra’s Raspberry Almond Bars, my sister Fran’s Candy Cane Cookies, Barbara’s Peanut Butter Bars, Laurel Bean’s Vanilla Bean Crescent Cookies, Lucy’s Chocolate Fudge and Barbie’s White Chocolate Crunch (well, she refused to share her secret family recipe however I found a similar one, so it still makes me think of her!)
What is the point of going into detail about all of these cookies on a health/nutrition blog? It makes me sad when people are so focused on dieting and eating perfectly (sometimes), and worrying about weight gain they end up missing out on the important things behind the food. Just trying to recall all of the recipes and thinking about all of these old friends in my past made me happy. It has nothing to do with the sugar or the butter or the health of the cookie or bar but everything to do with the connection and memories created. The problems arise when there is an imbalance in eating often triggered by restriction followed by compensatory binge eating or overeating and guilt. Not a way to enjoy the holidays.
Yes, all of the sweets and drinks and other holiday foods are very triggering for some people. Some people truly are not able to stop if sweets are in the environment. Again, as I have said so many times before, work on knowing yourself. If you have been working on intuitive eating, and you have learned to have some fun foods without binge eating them, then embracing the food traditions may not be a problem for you. For others, trying to avoid foods, not enjoying old family traditions or recipes because of fears of weight gain means missing out on part of the joy of the season. If this rings true for you, why not at least try to think about your own family traditions over the years? Do you have an Aunt Maryanne in your life who has the best recipes ever? Why not ask for them so you can start to build your arsenal of memories for the future……..when hopefully, you will have learned to enjoy every aspect of the season. That means getting to enjoy different foods, yet still listening to your body and remaining healthy and feeling good.
Anyway, after talking about all of these cookies, I feel I should at least share one of the recipes. Here it is!
Fran’s Candy Cane Cookies
Cream together: 1 1/3 cup butter, 2 1/2 cups sugar, 4 teaspoons vanilla, 2 eggs and 1 tsp salt. Blend in 3 cups flour. Divide dough in half and add a few drops of red food coloring to half the batter. Chill, then roll into small logs the size of a marker or pencil or crayon. Roll together a red strip and a white strip then shape into a candy can on the cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 6-8 minutes. Cool on a rack. They will get crispy as they cool. If you use more dough for each one, they will be bigger, so make them as big or small as you like. You can also shape into circles. Enjoy!
Have you ever heard of “glycemic index” (GI)? This is a way foods are categorized depending on the way they affect our blood sugar. Many people believe we should avoid foods that have a high glycemic index because those foods are supposedly likely to trigger a high insulin release which in turn will make us store fat. I am not a big fan of GI or looking at the gycemic index of foods because there is not enough evidence regarding how mixed meals affect us. For instance, if you eat pasta which has a high GI but have it with meatballs, what happens?
Well, a recent Research Study (check out the details) shows that people react differently to different glycemic loads. In other words, one person may be able to eat a certain food and not have any reaction regarding blood glucose whereas another may spike their blood sugar which eventually may lead to weight gain. We all can’t have lab work to see how our bodies respond to one food or another, however we can accept that a diet may work for a friend, but now for you. Again, if you are grasping at whatever comes across your path as a possible quick fix to your concerns about your weight, remember, you are unique.
With the holidays looming ahead, and people starting to panic about food, eating and weight gain, and thinking about what diet they are going to take on come January 1, 2016, I am hoping you take a minute to get real. There is no perfect diet for you, or for anyone. There is no magical weight or body size that will make you happy.
Instead, what do you think about keeping it simple? What would happen if you decided you would instead focus on feeling good? What does that mean to you? Do you need to work on getting more sleep? Do you need to figure out a way to incorporate some fun physical activity into your life? AKA exercise…..don’t like that word because it insinuates something that is not fun. So you need to make it fun for YOU. Because moving makes you feel good.
What about eating? Eating is more complicated than you would think, and I can say that because I listen to what people eat pretty much every day. And I know how people struggle. Yes, you do need to think about it to a point. If you do not plan, you will not be healthy. Period. If you don’t buy healthy food, you will not eat healthy food. If you do not know how to cook, you will probably need to eat fast food or eat out often, and that will not only be unhealthy (after awhile) it will also make you broke.
So yes, it does take some time and planning to feel the best you can feel, but at least you do not have to waste your time and energy and money on just another diet plan that may not work for you anyway.
Instead, do the simple thing you did when you were 5. Eat when you are hungry. Stop when you are full. Whether it is a ham sandwich or a bowl of ice cream, remember when you just could not finish? or, remember when you needed more? That is intuitive eating, young children have it until adults step in to force them to finish, or restrict them because they did not finish, and then they learn to tune out the natural mechanisms that regulate us every day, every meal, if we would only listen. (Note: those with disordered eating may not be able to do this. If that is you, hopefully you are working with a therapist and dietitian so that you can eventually get reconnected to your natural body signals).
My old college roommate Marion and me at the annual Manchester Road Race in Manchester, CT
So during the next month, over the holidays, try to eat your favorite foods, but listen to your tummy like you did when you were 5. Feel good. Eat enough, but not too much so that you don’t feel good. It’s just food. Go do the fun stuff, like playing football out in the cold, or running a road race with your old college roommate, because that is what you do on Thanksgiving. We all know people who can’t eat because of a medical condition, or who can’t play football or run a road race. So, if you can, it is the time to be thankful. Happy Thanksgiving!
I was just sitting down to write something about dealing with the stress of holiday eating, and came upon one of my favorite intuitive eating blogs that said exactly what I would have said. So here it is, from GlenysO!
At one of my consulting jobs it struck me that one of my co-workers is constantly eating. I have no problem with people eating on the job, sometimes you just need to have lunch at your desk because you do not have a designated break. In the afternoon when your blood sugar drops a bit, sometimes a snack helps perk you up. This is not what I am talking about. I am talking about the person who is constantly chewing.
I decided to do a search of research on snacking behavior as well as emotional eating. I found out that research into snacking has been going on for years. The questions still remain: How do we define a “snack”? Is snacking helpful to promote a better diet? Does snacking affect our weight? and on and on….in other words, we really do not have any conclusive answers because snacking, believe it or not, is complicated. I thought snacking was a good topic to write about because so many of us do it and wonder if it is a good idea or not.
If you are a someone who snacks, here are some questions to ask yourself:
what are you snacking on?
how often are you snacking? are you a constant nibbler or do you have just one snack in between your three meals a day?
are you skipping meals and only snacking?
where are you eating your snacks?
what are you feeling when you are snacking? or NOT feeling?
who are you with? or are you alone?
what are you doing when you are snacking?
how hungry are you when you are snacking?
how do you feel after your snack?
Being an intuitive eater, listening to, and taking care of your body may take some work for those who have been dieting. It is really important to NOT be judgmental as you are working on being the healthiest you can be and instead, just allowing yourself to reflect on your behaviors. Snacking is just one of those behaviors that for some take no thinking at all. For others who have not found peace yet with eating or their weight, it is important to not judge but just reflect and try to understand your habits so that you can make decisions that make you happy and feel good. So, when it comes to snacking, this sometimes can take some work and some experimentation, and this is okay.
When I see that person in my office who is constantly chewing, it reminds me of when I used to smoke cigarettes. Way back in college, I remember clearly the way having a cigarette filled in some kind of space that I did not know how to fill. It was hard for some reason, to just do nothing. I remember clearly after I quit smoking that I had to learn to just sit there. Now of course, I love just sitting and thinking (not a lot of time anymore!). But back then, it was a skill I needed to learn. For some people, munching on something serves the same purpose: filling in space that they do not know how to deal with. Maybe it is boredom. Maybe it is avoiding having to think about something else, something that is not fun to think about. Emotional eating, very common and very normal on occasion, however when it is a daily, 24 hour behavior then there may be unhealthy consequences. Some people are happy and content with nibbling constantly while others are upset at themselves. If you find yourself unable to stop nibbling and you are not happy about it, then seeking help is important. If, on the other hand, you are happy and healthy, and are fine with your nibbling, then whatever works for you is what matters.
So does this mean we should not snack? Does it mean we need to only eat “healthy” snacks? Not at all. Everyone is different, but we all have certain nutritional needs, as well as foods we love and do not like. To be healthy and happy, personally, I do not know how anyone can last from lunch until dinner without a snack. But that may not be you. Some people love having a large lunch and really do not get hungry until dinner time. Other people can’t eat a large lunch and so have that drop in the afternoon and feel better after a snack. A snack may sometimes be “healthy” and contribute to your daily nutritional needs (like a yogurt with fruit, or crackers and cheese). Some studies actually found that people who have snacks do have better nutrition.
But then again, sometimes you may want to have one of those brownies someone brought in with a cup of tea. Does that matter? Not at all. The question is, how do you feel? If you are a dieter or someone who confines themselves to only “good” food, then eating a brownie instead of the yogurt and fruit can play head games on you. You may feel as if you have broken out of your “diet jail” and then go on to overeat the rest of the day (what some researchers refer to as the “what the hell” effect). Or, you may restrict at your next meal because you feel guilty. Both behaviors are not a healthy response. The reality check is that eating a brownie instead of your usual yogurt and fruit is likely the same amount of calories, maybe less protein and unlikely to hold you as long, but no huge effect at all on your weight or your health. As long as you are eating balanced meals most of the time, your choice does not matter that much. The question is how you feel. Satisfied? Happy? Listen to your body. Of course, if you are on a special diet because of some medical condition, that is a different story. Talk to your dietitian about how to fit in foods you love.
Besides hunger, or emotional eating to fill in the time, why else would you grab a snack? Sometimes, it is simply an environmental trigger. Maybe that person in my office has been snacking at her desk for so long, she just needs to sit down and see her computer, and it triggers her to munch. It may not be emotional eating or boredom eating at all. It may simply be a habit. If you find yourself grabbing the same kind of food (or drink) in the same place day after day, it could simply be habit. How do you break it? Substituting a different habit, one that is healthier, such as having a bottle of seltzer or water, or herbal tea instead of the usual snack food that you really are not hungry for. Or getting up for a walk around the office to stretch. Or not keeping the snack foods at your desk and putting them in the break room or kitchen so that when you actually truly are hungry, you go get it. This is not about restricting, but all about listening to your body and hunger and taking care of it. Mindless munching is not intuitive eating.
My recommendations?
take time to pay attention to your habits
take time to plan your meals and your snacks
take time to enjoy your snacks…..catch yourself mindless munching
create a healthy environment-have snacks that are healthy and that you also enjoy available
allow yourself to enjoy any snack you truly want as long as you listen to your fullness and feel satisfied, not stuffed and regretful-remember, when you constantly restrict yourself, food becomes more important, so instead, if you are hungry for a snack, have one, the one you really want
The recent FDA News Release is a bit of a mixed blessing in my mind. I am a big believer in educating yourself about foods, health, fitness, etc so that you are making smart choices regarding your health. At the same time, I think people sometimes get confused with too much information, and end up making drastic decisions which are not smart. I have already seen people freak out about sugar in an unhealthy way. I fear the new label regarding a “Daily Value” for sugar may have the potential to at least confuse people, and at worse, cause some to start eliminating foods.
The proposed goal is for us to limit added sugar to no more than 10 percent of our daily calories, according to the guidelines. For someone older than 3, that means eating no more than 12.5 teaspoons, or 50 grams, of sugar a day (this is based on an average intake of 2000 calories……from age 3 and above, we all eat an average of 2000 calories a day…..supposedly). You can see where I am going with this. I am not a huge fan of math. Definitely not a fan of using it on a daily basis, for instance to figure out how to calculate my daily allowable added sugar. What is going to happen to those teenagers, especially athletes (who, by the way, need much more than 2000 calories a day)? I can tell you from my experience that many teens and even children start eliminating foods when they have been educated in an inappropriate way about nutrition by well-meaning schools and other adults. The story goes like this: child learns about healthy eating in school, he learns which foods are bad (“red” foods in some programs) and so stops eating them. As a result, weight loss occurs, growth stops, moods change, the brain is no longer fueled appropriately, digestive systems are disrupted, it is a mess. Sometimes, an eating disorder results and therapy is needed.
So now we are increasing our focus on sugar by setting a blanket daily limit that really should not be “one size fits all”. Individual foods will have the sugar content but also a “percent daily value”. For instance, the example given on the FDA website is “a consumer who drinks a 20-ounce sugared beverage may be surprised to know it contains about 66 grams of added sugar, which would be listed on the label as 132 percent of the Daily Value”. That means that in one drink that person will have consumed 32 percent more sugar than they should have that day. What affect will that have on eating behavior? Will this trigger some people to feel they need to read every label and stop eating anything with any added sugar the rest of the day because they had that soda? This stresses me out just thinking about it.
Don’t get me wrong! I am not a fan of soda or sweetened drinks and also believe in healthy eating. But I believe in educating people about nutrition in a way that makes it doable (which rarely involves much math). The funny thing is I have often used empty soda bottles and other empty sugary drink containers, measured the sugar in them and used for a visual display to help people see what they are consuming. This is always accompanied by more information such as as the message of moderation and having a soda when you want one, but that filling up on 5 cans a day does not leave much room for healthy stuff. You will not feel good. The difference is the focus on health and NOT on restriction or the idea that anything is forbidden.
The bottom line: use the new information to learn about the foods you consume on a regular basis. Being knowledgeable is a good thing. But don’t feel you need to eat exactly the correct grams of sugar or the perfect “daily value” every single day. Instead, stay on the path of caring about your health and doing those things that make you feel your best. Don’t focus too much on the math. Don’t let any food, even sugar, stress you out.
You will soon be hearing about a new study about “junk food” that has been conducted at Cornell (see summary: Study on Junk Food) Because the press and the public tend to want to draw some huge conclusion and generalize findings of studies such as this, I wanted to be sure to share my thoughts.
According to a Summary by Katherine Baildon researchers reviewed “a nationally representative sample of adults in the United States and found that consumption of soda, candy and fast food is not linked to Body Mass Index (BMI) for 95% of the population. The exception is those who are on the extreme ends of the BMI spectrum: those who are chronically underweight and those who are morbidly obese. Given that there was no significant difference in consumption of these indulgent foods between overweight and healthy weight individuals, the researchers concluded that the overwhelming majority of weight problems are not caused by consumption of soda, candy and fast food alone.”
What does this mean for you? I have noticed the tendency for people who diet to lose weight is to be a bit “black and white” in their thinking. People want to think there is a specific reason they can’t lose weight. They are typically searching (some for many years) for the perfect “diet” or plan to solve their weight issues. The diet industry makes a lot of money taking advantage of the importance of body shape, size and weight in our culture. We jump on anything new (just in case it could be the answer).
The same holds true for when people are tired of dieting. Dieters often break out of their Diet Jail just by having one bite of a forbidden food (aka junk food). Does this study mean that healthy eating does not matter? Does it mean you should stop caring about what you eat?
The good message of the study is that your weight is not affected by any single food (not a chip or carrot has any power over your body size). No, you won’t gain weight by eating french fries with you burger. Actually, this study provides more fuel for the “non-diet” approach to weight. There are many more factors than food that contribute to health (and yes, body size). For instance:
Genetics-if high cholesterol runs in your family, you are more at risk. Nothing to do with body size.
If you are sedentary, chances are your body is not the healthiest it can be (and you are less likely to be at your natural body weight). This does not mean you have to join a gym or work out like a lunatic. It just means that your lifestyle matters and doing fun active things that you love is more important than having (or trying not to have ) a candy bar when you really crave one.
Sleep-if you don’t get enough, your body just plain won’t function the way it is supposed to. Again, your weight will be affected because lack of sleep messes with your appetite (increases it).
Stress-mental health is just as important as physical health. Many people overeat or under-eat because they are stressed. This does not promote a healthy body.
Nutrition-yes, you need your fruits and vegetables and protein and water and fiber and vitamins and minerals. Focusing on health verses counting calories, dieting, weight and never eating junk food is what gives you your healthiest body.
So the bottom line is, yes, you can have junk food. We have been saying that all along. A perfect diet is not normal eating. Keep on the path of listening to your body, healthy eating, enjoyable movement, decreasing stress in your life, and accepting where your weight falls wherever it may be. Feeling good and having energy and being happy are possible, even if you have a french fry.
This morning while I was pouring my coffee and half-listening to the news like I always do in the morning before work, something caught my ear as I am guessing it did millions across the country. Breaking news about losing weight! You don’t need to count calories anymore! My first reaction was “Yay!” I have been accused of wearing those rose-colored glasses. I do tend to immediately look at the good in things, without thinking. And this was another one of those times when it was too good to be true.
Nobody was going to say that counting calories was useless (which is what I was hoping). They were just going to throw out another carrot, another false hope for people desperate to lose weight, another gimmick that is probably going to make people do silly things that have nothing to do with making them healthier.
In case you did not have the TV on this morning or were otherwise disconnected from the virtual world (maybe you were traveling in Italy?) then you may not have heard about the new study that made almost every morning show announce “you don’t have to count calories!” So what is the new discovery? Apparently, it is counting bites. Yes, there was a small pilot study conducted at Brigham Young University that had subjects count the number of bites they took per day for a week (to get a baseline), then decrease it by 20-30% over 4 weeks without changing anything else (no increased exercise, no counting calories, etc). Of the 61 participants, only 41 completed the study (was it too hard to count bites? just like it is too hard to count calories?). Of those completing the study, there was a 3.4 pound weight loss over the course of the study. The authors point out that after the first week, when a baseline number of daily bites was determined, subjects gained weight, but then lost weight over the next 2 weeks, and maintained their weight with no further loss over the final 2 weeks. They also point out the limitations of the study, for instance it was a small sample size which was not comparable to the general population. All subjects had at least some college education, were Caucasian with family incomes greater than $50,000 and were likely highly motivated to lose weight.
One point made by the authors of the study was that counting bites “does allow an individual to be conscious of their eating habits, which is an idea that somewhat resembles “mindful eating” diet theory”. They clearly state that future research is needed with a larger, randomly selected study sample, longer intervention period, a control group, and longer follow up. They also point out that quality and health of the diet of participants was not looked at and this is important.
Yes, the quality of someones diet is important, especially if we want to focus on health verses weight. We don’t need to be “perfect” eaters, but we should care about health if we want to feel good. It is an individual’s choice, but counting bites, just like counting calories has nothing to do with promoting health. And it clearly does not resemble mindful, or intuitive, normal eating which is more about being in tune with your hunger and fullness.
So, it is just my opinion, but I am not a big fan of counting anything when it comes to eating and health. Counting bites, like counting calories, would feel like way too much thinking if you ask me. I am not sure if it would help you to be more in tune with your hunger and fullness or not. If you gobble up food fast and get a stomach ache on a regular basis, then, yes, slowing down might help. But counting bites? It just seems like another gimmick (well, that is how the news station came across, probably just to get people like me to hang around and hear the breaking news!) I greatly respect the researchers who piloted the study as they are part of all of those who are working hard to try to help. All research that contributes to our knowledge helps. Just remember to read the details and know that you are unique. Your story and your life deserves to be treated that way. Keep taking care of yourself, your body, and your mind. And if you like the idea of counting bites, go right ahead. You know what is best for you (and I would love to hear about it!) In the meantime, check out the original article here: Bite Diet Study
I am kind of glad the news station was dramatic. I might not have heard about the study so soon otherwise. And with the time change, I still was not late for work : )
Our last meal in Italy started (as usual) with some great Italian bread, olives and salami……….
What do you do when you go out to eat, and the waiter or waitress bring a nice basket of hot rolls to the table? What do you do when you walk into your office and someone brought a box of donuts from your favorite bakery? What about when it is 9 pm at night and you just can’t get chocolate off of your mind? Or you have planned a nice healthy dinner for your family, but you are not in the mood for it at all?
We have to make so many decisions every single day about what to eat. It is complicated and stressful even to those who don’t think about their eating or weight. We all have to eat. Unfortunately, most of us are not millionaires, and so there will be no cook preparing our favorite meal every night (getting tired of the joke “if I was Oprah, I would be healthy because I would be able to hire a chef!”). Unless you love to cook, planning and preparing meals can be a pain. Add to that a concern about weight and you have a recipe for anything but intuitive eating. What I mean is that for those who are always dieting or dissatisfied with their weight, there seems to be a constant war going on when it comes to food choices. It is not about what is available and what tastes good or you are in the mood for, it is about what is on your diet plan. The food rules are in full force and the food police loud and clear in some people’s thinking.
Although I am a big believer in “intuitive eating” and “listening to your hunger and fullness” I also know that most people are not that aware of the forces that pull them in all directions when it comes to eating and food. What made a lot of sense to me was from a book I may have mentioned before that I read way back in the 70’s. It was written by two psychologists (“The Psychologist’s Eat Anything Diet” by Pearson, et al) and had an approach that was not founded in science at the time, yet years later, we now know they were right. The book was one of the first to advise us to “listen” to your food cravings because your body innately knew what it needed. Now we know that there are numerous neurochemicals, or messengers that tell our brains what to eat based on what we need. For example, if you go without adequate carbohydrates for a period of time, your brain serotonin levels will drop and this will trigger you to want something sweet. There are many more, but the bottom line is there is a physiological reason we sometimes really crave something. Also, the authors of the book were the first to coin the term “beckoning” food verses “humming” food. I love those terms because if you understand them, it really can help you to become a more intuitive eater (and less susceptible to environmental triggers).
So what about those humming, beckoning and phantom foods and why do I think it is smart to know the difference?
First,let’s talk about “beckoning” foods. These are the foods you were not thinking about at all until you saw them or smelled them. For instance, you are at the mall, you ate before you went and you are not hungry at all, but you walk by that Grandma’s Cookie place and the aroma overwhelms you. Or, you wander past the McDonald’s in the mall, and the smell of french fries permeates the air (your favorite fries of all, nobody can make them like the Ronald). Maybe you are in the grocery store after work, a bit hungry and you see the pizza counter with a great looking meat lover’s pizza. That, my friend, is a beckoning food. It is the food you really don’t crave at all at the time, but you see it, smell it, and then want it. The fact is that a beckoning food is probably notwhat your body wants or needs. It is a trigger in your environment that if you manage to ignore, you will forget about it in short time. But what if you are at a party or social gathering, and someone made something you absolutely love, and even if you were not craving it, you hate to miss out? For example, yesterday I had to teach a class to a group of nutrition students. They had put together a smorgasbord of snacks such as veggies and hummus, fruit and also some very yummy homemade cookies. I was hungry for food, not sweets, but I don’t often get a chance to have good cookies like that (I hate baking, it is way too specific). So I took a plate home because I always want something sweet in the morning (yes, a cookie and coffee makes me happy at 6:30 am-and I am prepared for the crash at 10 am). So the message is, you don’t have to miss out when there are beckoning foods around, but you should not eat them at the time when you really did not want them. Save them for when you really do. That is intuitive eating.
Secondly, what do I mean by “Humming foods”? Have you ever, out of the blue, had a very specific food craving? Once in awhile, maybe every three months or so, while I am at work, getting hungry later in the day, I get an intense craving for some very specific buffalo wings. It does not matter if I had a meal already planned, I change it. I call my husband and tell him “I am stopping at Buffalo Wild Wings, what do you want?” I just save whatever I planned for the next day. No, half my plate is not “colors” the way we dietitians like to teach. Most of the plate is brown that night (well, they do give you carrot and celery sticks). I figure my body knows what it is telling me. Maybe I need more fat or protein or whatever. Maybe it is a need to treat myself. Whatever it is, if we listen to our cravings (remember, a true craving comes from your body, not from the smell of french fries or the visual trigger of a giant cookie in a store window), we will likely be so much more satisfied without overeating. So pay attention to specific food cravings, a feeling of needing a specific food without ever seeing or smelling it.
Finally, we have “phantom foods”. I do not remember where I first heard this term, but I think it was when I was working at a college with college students who were restrained eaters. The dietitian I worked with was very used to working with these “sub-clinical” eating disorders but I was new to it. I remember her using that word and it made a lot of sense to me with what I was seeing. A great example is a student I saw back then who was binge eating on healthy snacks at night. It was funny because she was somewhat of a “health nut”. She did not eat much meat or any unhealthy foods. Her dorm room was stocked with rice cakes, sugar free jello, and fat free granola bars. She would eat just a salad for lunch, and then again for dinner, and after dinner she would have an apple, then a fat free granola bar, and then another, and another, and then some sugar free jello, and then another apple….and on and on. When I asked if she craved anything, she said she craved cheese burgers. I asked her to experiment just one week with eating what she wanted instead of making herself eat the foods she was making herself eat because the were healthy (also know as Phantom Food). She came back a week later and said “I can’t believe it! I have been having cheeseburgers for dinner, and I am not eating all those snacks anymore! I am actually satisfied and feel so much better!”. That student was able to eat what her body really wanted, and she was no longer forcing herself to eat just the “healthy” snacks-the phantom food that does not satisfy, but that the “diet mentality” says is the only thing that is not bad. Unfortunately, what I have seen in my years of working with people with eating and weight issues is that trying to eat only phantom foods-foods that you think are safe and ok but that really do not satisfy you-leads to overeating, weight gain, and dissatisfaction.
So there you have it. Can you take that chance and really let yourself eat what your body is telling you? Can you satisfy your hunger and then move on to all the more interesting and fun things in your life to do? Can you stop forcing yourself to eat those phantom foods that you really don’t want? Can you walk past those good smelling food places, and tell yourself that when you really want that, you will go get it? Can you ask for a doggie bag and take those cookies to go so that when you really want them, they will be there? (You can freeze stuff too, you know).
Some people may find this very hard or impossible-that is ok! My goal is to help you be reflective and think about yourself, not to turn you into an intuitive eater overnight. I just hope to open your eyes to a different way of looking at eating and food, with the hopes that you will take just one more step to being happier with your relationship to food. Or at least understand yourself a little bit better.
My husband’s last meal in Italy, same restaurant with the bread in the bag
So that picture of the bread and salami and olives? Totally beckoning foods before an amazing dinner in Milan. Of course I tried that bread. Sometimes, if you are in Italy for example, you know you won’t get to have that again for who knows how long. And we had no freezer. So Joie de vivre ! Enjoy life : )
That’s my bike. My husband was away for a week, and with nothing much to do after work, I decided to take advantage of a half day, warm weather, and Fall in New England. I planned to take a spin on my bike on a great bike trail near where we live in Connecticut. I packed my camera and a water bottle, threw my bike in the back of my Subaru, drove a few towns over, parked, and started my adventure. Because it was a weekday and early afternoon, I was alone on the trail. The trail winds through several rural towns with corn fields and rolling hills with trees bursting with color everywhere I looked. I was beside myself with joy. I was out there for 2 hours, but had stopped a dozen times to snap pictures. One of a duck on a pond where the reflection of him and the trees around looked like a mirror. Another of hay rolled up alongside a field where a farmer was working. It all was absolutely magnificent.
Back in the day, I used to bike very differently. I use to wear those black padded shorts and have bike shoes (I still have them) that clipped onto the pedals so that you could be more efficient and pull your pedal up as well as push down (easier to cover more miles that way). I would do a route during the week that was 20 or 30 miles, with weekend rides that were 50 to 100 miles. It was actually pretty fun, and very meditative.
But now, things have changed. My husband loves the bike trails, and loves to be active, but the first time I biked with him, we stopped many times for tag sales, ice cream, wine tasting, you name it. With those bike shoes clipped onto the pedal, I almost killed myself! I finally put on regular pedals and wear sneakers. I transitioned into a typical biker who just has fun. I love it, too.
To me, except for that extreme road biking where destinations far away were the goal, I have always looked at exercise in a different way than the “diet mentality” would have you look at it. Actually, even with the biking, I really enjoyed myself. It was fun. There was never any connection to eating (although, when I ran out of energy, I often stopped for ice cream, which is a great and fast way to refuel when you are on the road like that).
Today, what I see is treadmills and stationary bicycles in gyms that tell you how many calories you are burning (FYI-do you really think a machine can predict that? Even if it knows your sex and weight, it does not know your dieting history, or your muscle mass, which greatly affects your metabolism). I hear people talk about how they can eat something because they are going to “burn it up” at the gym. At work, when I look for nutrition education materials, I cringe. Just today, I was looking for a colorful and simple handout to teach about healthy drinks for a class I was teaching this morning, and what I found was a handout on the sugar content of certain drinks (ok to educate yourself). BUT it then spelled out how many minutes of walking it would take to burn up the calories! Seriously? I did not use it.
Did you know that exercising after eating with the specific goal to burn the calories is sometimes referred to as “purging with exercise’? It is not psychologically healthy. It is a disordered way of looking at what should be something you do because it is good for your body and also enjoyable.
Are you someone who looks at calories and then tries to figure out what you have to do to burn it up? That is so NOT FUN and also not helpful when it comes to the real reasons we exercise.
First of all, I want to ditch the word “exercise” because people have negative feelings toward that word (I know because I have asked every person who has attended any weight management class I have ever taught). When I ask what the first thing they think when they hear the word “exercise” people say: pain, tired, boring, hate it…..So instead, I like “physical activity”. Or PA for short. PA can be anything and that is why I like it. It can be walking with a friend, it can be going out dancing. It can be hoola hooping. It can be cleaning all day long or mowing the lawn or moving furniture.
We all need PA on a regular basis because that is what our bodies like and need to not only feel good but also to work better. When we move daily we sleep better, we are better able to regulate our appetites (our chemical messengers work better), we release endorphins so our mood is better, and it is easier to deal with stress. We get stronger so that if we fall down, it is easier to get up (or we can help move things, like furniture). We are more likely to have a normal blood pressure, our “good” cholesterol (HDL-high density lipoprotein) is more likely to be high (which is what we want since HDL is protective). We get skills (such as being good at volleyball or basketball, or being the best dancer, or the best hoola-hooper like I am) and being good at something is very good for your self-esteem.
So, yes, being active is very important for our health, how we feel about ourselves, and our energy level. But, there is absolutely no benefit to knowing how many calories you burn. In fact, if that is what you are focusing on, your are likely to be miserable and eventually hate physical activity. I have found that people who do this (focus on burning calories to lose weight) tend to give up. They tend to stop “exercising” at the same time they “blow their diet”. So if you link physical activity with calories or dieting, you will miss out on all the fun things in life that keep both your mind and body healthy.
Do you think you can let go for even one day of thinking about moving as a way to burn calories? You don’t have to make an “all-or-nothing” decision. Instead, why not experiment with looking at moving in a fun way (something you enjoy) instead of a way to burn calories or lose weight, even for one day (maybe a Saturday when you might have more time?). See how you feel. Then the next time you go to a gym, or look at some device that tells you how many calories you are burning, just say “You don’t know me!” And go enjoy a fun day of moving….
It dawned on me this week that one of the most wonderful gifts in life is the ability to not have to be perfect. I was reminded of this on a beautiful sunny Friday afternoon last week. It was one of those picture perfect, almost fall days with a gentle breeze, sunny sky, no humidity and perfect temperature. Once a year I go with one of my best friends to a reservoir near where I live to go kayaking. My husband and I go several times during the warm months but my friend Barbara does not own a kayak and so for the past two years she and I decided to start a traditional and yearly kayak outing. She is retired and I get out of work early on Friday, so last Friday we went on our trip. We packed some sandwiches, the new Lay’s Reuben flavored potato chips and some wine and a camera, and off we went. Since it was a week day we almost had the reservoir to ourselves. We both had our hair disheveled, no make up to speak of, crappy water shoes, faded shorts and tee shirts, and no jewelry (well, except one of the necklaces that I refer to as my kayak necklace, which is made of natural jute and beads that my daughter made for me, and that I love (and do wear other places), but especially love for things I do in nature, like kayaking).
Anyway, we paddled along and stopped at a clearing on the shore to go walk along a path that became muddy, but was beautiful along a bog with reeds and lily pads and frogs. We also had found a spot where we paddled to float near a fallen tree (dubbed Broken Bark Bar) to have our late afternoon lunch/happy hour plastic cup of wine and proceeded to chat about everything. We both agreed we were at a point in our lives where we were so thankful that we were content and thankful to enjoy all the beautiful but simple things in life. We realized how relieved we felt to actually not care about our hair, our make up, or what we were wearing. Life is hard enough as it is. Problems come up with children and family and friends and life in general. It never ends! Imagine the extra strain of having to be perfect. Sadly, I clearly remember all the people I have met who struggle with this on a daily basis.
Just imagine:
Having to do a certain amount of exercise a day. Having to follow a certain diet, and think about every morsel that passes your lips (yes, there are people with dietary restrictions who have to avoid foods for medical reasons, but that is not who I am referring to). I am thinking about those people who forbid themselves things on a daily basis, and truly get emotionally upset when they do not follow their own self-imposed rules. People who invent some body image goal they feel is the only body they could possibly be happy in. It typically is not achievable without mental and physical repercussions, yet they carry on with the delusion that this perfect body will be the answer. Even when they reach their “goal weight”, it is never good enough. One thing I will never forget is the anorexic patient who told me “I finally realize, the only time I get to wear my goal jeans is when I lose so much weight that I have to be hospitalized”.
Can I share what I have learned from those I have seen reach these goals? These are the patients I have worked with over the years, and this is what I have seen: they change their goals once they reach them. It starts with one goal of losing a certain amount of weight, but then, that is not good enough. The weight goal lowers. They reach it and it still does not make them happy. The person who has the goal of doing a certain amount of exercise? The need to run a certain race, then another and another. Well, when they reach their goal, it is not enough. The goal increases. And they still are not happy. The end never comes.
I think we all have a bit of perfectionism in our lives, or at least unreasonable expectations. I know of moms who need to vacuum 4 times a day (and don’t let their children walk on the carpet….no footprints allowed). I know of women who pick their perfect outfits out of their perfectly organized closets the night before work (I definitely can’t relate). I personally struggle with going to bed if there are dishes in the sink. It won’t happen, I can admit. I just can’t wake up to that. Mornings are hard enough.
So, anyway, at the end of our kayak trip we got ashore, loaded our kayaks, life jackets and oars and drove back, back to reality. We put up our pictures on Facebook, and tucked another wonderful memory away in our hearts. I felt thankful for this friendship with such a wonderful and special woman, a mother who I am sure whose sons would consider the perfect mother, a friend who her many friends would consider a perfect friend, and to her significant other, well, I know he thinks she is perfect, too. With no make up, disheveled hair, faded shorts and tee shirt. I left feeling so very thankful for this beautiful day, but mostly for the realization that I now, finally, can embrace my imperfections and truly not care. Age has helped (one of the perks of getting older!) I only hope and pray that others might take a step to let go of just a little bit of perfectionism in their lives. Care about your health, but there is no need to eat 100% perfectly, or to exercise 100% every single day or to any perfect schedule, or to be any certain body that is not achievable without getting sick or obsessing about food. If you try and try and try…….and still can’t let go of it, consider getting some help. Realizing that you don’twant to have to be perfect anymore is a huge step forward.
For a long time now I have realized being imperfect is my definition of perfect. So consider a new definition of perfection for yourself!
The Italian Restaurant outside of Milan, Italy
Joanne Arena MS, RD 