Tag: dieting

If Losing Weight is your New Year’s Resolution, Don’t Forget Your Secret Weapon: IA

On By jodietitianIn dieting, hunger, Uncategorized, weightLeave a comment

Everyone is born with it. Babies and children know exactly how to use it. But something changes over time, over months and years, as our vast and varied experiences with eating and food accumulate. It gets unknowingly numbed, sometimes obliterated, taken away inadvertently by others, then finally thrown away by our own means. Eventually, most of us forget it’s even there, let alone how to use it to our advantage.

I’m talking about IA. Interoceptive Awareness.

Think about almost any child you know. A 4 year old will get half way through a plate of spaghetti and suddenly stop. “I can’t eat anymore”, or “I’m full” the child will insist. The informed parent will be wise and listen. But the typical parent will often visually look at the amount of food the child ate and feels it is just too little, it can’t be enough. So instead of allowing the child to follow is natural body signals, they insist the plate be finished, or the child take “just one more bite”. And so it begins.

That 4 year old body knows just how much he needs to eat. But he will lose this natural ability if his parent keeps this up.

Well, it’s that time again….New Year’s resolution time. People pledging to lose weight is probably up there as one of the most common pledges. I am not here to promote losing weight as a good goal for everyone, but I do know that lots of people gain weight over the years because they have lost touch with their IA. That means the weight they gained is not normal for them, it was a gradual accident. So let’s talk about IA, what it is, how you lost it and how you can get it back.

Interoceptive Awareness in simple terms is the way your body communicates with your brain about what is going on which helps you understand and decide what your body needs. A simple example is being thirsty. We have all experienced that feeling. You are outside working in the heat, or walking on a hot day. Your mouth feels dry, you feel uncomfortable and somehow you know you need water. That is your body using IA to tell you to drink. It involves a complicated process with your mouth, brain, blood volume etc. integrating signals and monitoring your physiology to make sure you do the right thing to stay alive: drink more water.

The same type of process happens with food and eating. Back in the day when I first became a dietitian in the 70’s scientists really didn’t understand how we knew how much or what to eat. They knew it was complicated (certainly genetics were a factor, as well as culture and environment) but they were just scratching the surface of it all. Leptin was discovered which was a big breakthrough. This messenger was found to actually monitor our fat cells for changes then sending signals to the brain to eat more or less depending on how much fat was there. If you ate too much, leptin would send the signal to eat less. The discovery of leptin was just the start. For those of you who are interested in a more detailed explanation, check out this article:https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/decoding-your-hunger-during-the-holidays/

We now know there is a specific messenger for fat intake, and for carbohydrates (every wonder why you sometimes crave sweets? Chances are you didn’t have enough carbs at your last meal). Yes, your body wants (and needs) balance. Please note that some people have to be on special diets due to medical conditions. Ketogenic diets are sometimes used for patients with seizures. Paying attention to carbs is important for diabetics. There are definitely medical conditions and genetic abnormalities that contribute to an individual who is not able to follow natural body signals. Babies born with Prader Willi Syndrome fail to thrive at birth however then tend to overeat with no shut off later in life and may gain an unhealthy amount of weight if not monitored. These are the exceptions. For most of us, our body signals and IA work fine. We just don’t listen.

Besides having well-meaning parents interfere with our natural ability to listen to our hunger and fullness, when we consciously try to manipulate our eating, especially in extreme ways, over time we really can do damage. I have had many patients in the past say “I am always hungry” or “I am never hungry”. Often, they have slowed their digestive processes and their metabolisms down by skipping meals or restricting, and they lose that feeling of hunger. They have to follow meal plans to get their digestive system and metabolism working again. Even if you have not gone to this extreme, but instead have simply tried to diet by eating less, your mindset gets engrained in a way that gets stuck. Many people simply don’t trust their hunger because the diet mindset tends to be “all or nothing”. Either you are walking around hungry because you are dieting or you are overeating and feeling uncomfortable, throwing caution to the wind because you are off your diet. This on a diet/off a diet lifestyle certainly keeps you disconnected from your natural IA.

So is counting calories, measuring foods or cognitively restricting your food intake the answer? As I have said many times, people do have the goal of losing weight and often do lose weight dieting, however they usually gain it back because they have not even begun to try to work on getting in touch with what their body is telling them. How do you start? Where do you start? One meal at a time. One snack at a time. Here are some tips to get you started.

  1. Identify Habits: before you can get in tough with your body signals regarding hunger and fullness you have to work on eliminating the triggers that cause you to eat when you really are not hungry.
    • Do you eat while distracted, such as at the computer, in front of the TV or while talking on the phone?
    • Do you graze all day instead of actually sitting down to a meal?
    • Do you keep food in your car, at your desk, in your bedroom?
  2. Designate a place to eat without distraction both at home and at work.
    • To help tune in to your gut messages it is helpful to avoid distraction and pay attention to what you are eating
    • Sit in a chair at a table or counter. Do not stand and eat.
    • Turn off the TV, leave your phone somewhere else, don’t read. Just eat.
  3. Designate meal and snack times if possible.
    • Snacking all day instead of eating a real meal can confuse your body. If you are a snacker plan on a breakfast time, ONE morning snack, a lunch time, ONE afternoon snack, a dinner time and ONE night snack
    • If you are a meal skipper and tend to wait until dinner time and after to graze all night INSTEAD plan 3 meals a day and ONE pm snack. Plan a breakfast time, a lunch time and a dinner time. You may not feel hunger since you have been tuning out your signals for too long but they will come back over time. Start small.
    • Be flexible. Eating at the exact same time every day is not the goal. It is the pattern we want to change. Eating within an hour time frame (for example, breakfast between 7 and 8, or lunch between noon and 1 pm) is a good goal. If this is hard for you even within a 2 hour time frame is a start in the right direction.
  4. Take time to think about what you want to eat. Sometimes your IA will plant a specific food or foods in your brain and that often means your body needs something. If you have been dieting and have been feeling deprived this may be difficult, but don’t give up. Take the risk, even for one meal a day. Some people feel too guilty letting themselves eat something they consider unhealthy. The goal is not to turn you into a junk food eater. The reality is that once you are in tune with your body, you will realize that you actually rarely crave junk foods as often as you think you will. I recommend if nothing is calling to you strongly, if you really are not craving anything, then try to choose a healthy meal that you really enjoy. Please note that if you are suffering from disordered eating, or have been diagnosed with an eating disorder please consult with your therapist and dietitian before making any changes to your eating. If you feel overwhelmed just thinking about any of this, I suggest even one consultation/evaluation with and therapist who specializes in eating issues.
  5. Tune in to your hunger/fullness level. Consider keeping a diary with a record of hunger level before eating and fullness level after eating. A scale of 1-10 is often used with 1 being “starving” and 10 being “stuffed”. A “3” might indicate normal hunger whereas a 4 is just a little hungry and you could wait to eat. After eating, a “7” would be a comfortable normal fullness whereas an “8” would mean eating a bit too much, a 9 definitely getting to uncomfortable. Keeping this record often helps recognize patterns and makes it easier to not eat when not hungry, and to be sure to eat when you are. Remember, this is a very subjective tool and I have known many people who can’t relate to it at all so if this is you, no worries! Just take the time to think about it. Stop and think about how hungry you are before you start eating, and reflect on how full you are after you eat a meal. Eventually you will identify how disconnected, if at all you are to your IA, to your awareness of hunger and fullness. (Note: we are all different with respect to a messenger (PYY) that tells our brain we are full. For some people PYY works really quickly and after eating a certain amount the messenger tells their brain to stop eating. These are the people you may know who just naturally do not over eat. For most people it takes 20 minutes for this messenger to work. For others it is longer. These are the folks who can seem to eat a lot at times but then feel uncomfortable a half hour later, complaining that they ate too much. For this type of person it might be helpful to set a timer for 20 minutes and after a plate of food wait for the 20 minutes before taking seconds. Chances are the fullness will kick in by then and that feeling of being overstuffed can be avoided). Oh, we also know that regular physical activity may help you be more in tune with fullness AND hunger.
  6. Appreciate the complexity of appetite. It is not that simple. The complicated neurochemical picture is hard to comprehend. There is so much to know. Did you every hear about NPY, the messenger that tells you to eat and won’t go away unless you eat enough protein? That is why after what you think is a healthy lunch of salad and fruit leaves you wanting more. Have you heard of ghrelin? This messenger also stimulates appetite and is elevated if you don’t get enough sleep! That is why you can’t seem to satisfy your appetite on those days after a late night out. Can you imagine how hard it is for someone with undiagnosed sleep apnea to maintain their normal weight? If you don’t sleep well, talk to your doctor. Finally, our emotions and personal histories make things even more complicated. We now know that pathways overlap in our brain that regulate both food intake and emotions. So if you ever used food to soothe yourself expecting to be able to suddenly be able to “listen to your body” is not realistic. Again, if you believe you are an “emotional eater” it might be wise to seek help.
  7. Educate yourself. Intuitive Eating is no longer a new concept and Mindful Eating is something that many people are working on. It is a much better goal than “losing weight”. Moving toward feeling better, feeling and being healthier is a good thing. Check out the website for more info. https://www.intuitiveeating.org/

Happy New Year! Here’s to NOT trying to be perfect, but moving a little bit each day to a more aware, healthier and happier YOU!!!

Middle-Age Alert: The Time to Act is Now (5 Tips)

On By jodietitianIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

The other night a bunch of us retirees were joking about what exact “age” we now consider to be “old”. We all remember way back when we were approaching our 30th birthday and how we felt . Being 30 was “old” to someone in their 20’s. But then we turned 30 and realized nothing changed. Now, 40 is definitely young (we have kids in their 40’s for heaven’s sake), and 50 we can barely remember, so that is definitely not old either. Now, we look back and realize how fast time flies. We wish we only knew then what we know now. So that is why, after taking this break from writing, I felt motivated to write again. To share with you what you might want to know now rather than later when it could be too late.

Do you sometimes wish you could see into the future and know what you are going to be doing and how you are going to feel in 20 years? Will you be working in a job you love? Will you be energetic and healthy when you finally retire? Will you still have the friends you have now? Will you be happy in your relationships? Not everything is in your control. Unfortunately, tragic events change lives and disease is sometimes genetic and can’t be prevented. But as I progress in years (you know, get older) I can’t help but compare the quality of life in those that make certain choices verses those that make other choices. There are consequences to our behaviors. Over time, the detrimental (or beneficial) effects of our behaviors add up. In other words, what you are in the habit of doing TODAY has a HUGE impact on the life you will experience later. If you want to be sauntering up and down those cobblestone streets of Cinque Terre, doing that bike and barge river cruise in Amsterdam, or just enjoying a swim in the pool at a resort in Cancun, the time to start thinking about the future is now.

 Most of what I am going to mention is nothing new to you. What I am hoping is you might appreciate the experience and observations of someone who is living through it, witnessing the changes and experiences first hand through those around her and feeling it herself. If your partner or mom give their advice it sometimes makes us resentful. I hope this post makes you stop and think.

 Here is a list of what I have personally observed to have the greatest impact on your future enjoyment of life itself:

  1. Moving Too Little (or Too Much)

 One of the benefits of retiring to Florida is getting to know a bunch of snow-birders from around the country. I have been blown away by the very fit people over 70 down here. Every day I see both women and men, some over 80, riding their bikes to the pool for water aerobics at 9 am. I see them walking their little ankle biters (I mean poodles) around the almost 2 mile block early in the morning or after dinner every single day. The same group of elderly men and women are going at it with pickle ball 5 days a week. Pete, who is 80, arrives like clockwork at 4 pm at the pool to do his laps for almost and hour. These happy, healthy elderly people MOVE and as a result, their bodies keep working for them, enabling them to have fun.

 On the other hand, I have observed some other people who do not move so much. They struggle going up stairs, they can’t easily get into the car, their knees and hips and muscles hurt. Yes, it could be arthritis or osteoporosis or any other affliction that plagues us as we age. So that is why I also pay attention to younger folk, people my age or even younger, who don’t yet have those afflictions, yet suffer from the same poor quality of life. They get sore from simple repetitive activities. They lose their breath going from place to place. Their body hurts after a little exertion. They struggle getting up from the couch or a lower chair. They have to rest a lot because their muscles just are not used to moving. Their “habit” of avoiding movement at all costs regardless of reason(too much time on social media, watching TLC, working at home on the computer, etc) is starting to affect their quality of life. Even at the age of 40.

 And then, of course, there are those exercise addicts who pride themselves on going to the extremes their entire lives. I have known people who didn’t stop at a few rounds of golf and had to play all day, every day and now can’t play at all because of shoulder issues. There are those with tennis elbow because they overdid their sport. Stress fractures and hip issues seem to have afflicted some elderly runners I have known because they never took a day off. The list goes on and on. Too much of a good thing ends up being a bad thing sometimes when you get older.

 So which are you? Do you incorporate some kind of daily moving in your life? Unfortunately, lots of people only “exercise” when they are dieting because their end goal is losing weight. This is a HUGE mistake. Actually, if this is your goal, and you can project into the future, think about what kind of life you want to be able to enjoy when you are older. Walking for 30 minutes a day, even if you can’t do it all at once (such as 10 minutes, 3 times a day) could change your future life. Over time it adds up. The typical person I have seen over my many years in the field joins the gym and starts the diet on the same day. They are determined and diligent. But it turns out to be almost impossible to meet the (ridiculous) goal of going to the gym consistently at 5 am before work or 6 pm after work 5 days a week in addition to following that restrictive diet. It is pretty emotionally draining to think about eating all the time in addition to the grueling workout schedule. Most people give in. They break the diet because with all that physical activity your body requires (and will crave) more carbs….which of course are not on most diets. So once the need for carbs (ice cream, cookies, chips) is naturally satisfied the diet is broken and the gym days are over, for now. Until the cycle starts again.

Instead, just imagine that over the next 10 years your body managed to walk 3,000 miles! Do you think that body would be stronger, more fit and feel better, even without dieting? The reality is that body also would sleep better, be more in tune with how much it needed to eat, be less stressed and happier as well as be at a more natural weight. The point is, if we stop linking moving with losing weight and dieting and instead just focused on how to incorporate more movement, even just walking 2 hours a week our lives would be different when we are older. Much different.

Take my mom for example. She is 91 years old and is in constant motion, walking inside the house, counting her steps up to 100 if she can’t get outside. When other people her age nap on the couch all day, she is out having fun. Because she can. She is the best example of how moving every day, no matter what it is, will change your life. She also is pretty funny. She loves to say “that will be a dollar” every time she gives advice or says a prayer for you that gets answered. I should have added humor in my list of factors that make you healthy. Anyway, as far as physical activity, you don’t have to run a marathon. Just start moving.

2. Smoking Cigarettes

 Duh. Of course you know smoking is bad for your health (causing cancer, heart issues, etc). And yes, if I look around at people who are over 60 and smoke, it is true, they do appear older because of how smoking affects your skin and appearance over time, but the health repercussions are what is crippling, not wrinkles. With that said, I realize knowledge is NOT power when it comes to smoking. Smoking is an addiction to a substance as well as a deeply ingrained habit that is hard to change. I can speak to this issue because of personal experience, so I am going to share that in hopes it may shed some light. If even one person quits smoking from reading this, I will be thrilled.

 So when I smoked cigarettes it was in the 1970’s. I was a senior in high school. I vaguely remember that my Newports cost about 50 cents a pack. I went off to college and for some reason, I went from a half a pack a day to almost 2 packs! And then, I clearly remember the price jumping up to over 60 cents a pack. That was it. I couldn’t afford that! Also, I was moving in to an apartment with 3 women who did not smoke and I did not want to be the one stinking up the place.

 So here is the thing, the important take-home message: I MADE A DECISION. Yes, I had “tried” to quit smoking before, and if you have tried to quit, you may relate. Before, deep down I would be thinking, “how long will I last?” This was the first time my thinking was different. I DECIDED that I did not care what I had to go through, I was quitting. I also remember consciously adopting a brand new identity: Healthy Person. This was new (which is funny as I was a nutrition major at the time, but smoking was socially acceptable back then). I also (as a “healthy person”) started exercising for the first time in my life. I dragged myself to the pool in the field house at UConn several times a week at night to swim. I had ants in my pants and needed to do SOMETHING. I remember leaving the field house and walking to my car in the freezing cold and my hair would turn into icicles and clink. Then, in the spring I took up jogging. I was REAL SLOW, but I felt so empowered and very cool as a “healthy person” it didn’t matter that it took me 20 minutes to cover a mile. I loved it. I was hooked.

 That’s the good part. The bad part was the process. Several years after the fact I became a Registered Dietitian. I took a part time job at the local YMCA and was trained by the American Cancer Society to teach their “Fresh Start” classes on quitting smoking. I learned about the 3 parts of being addicted to nicotine and smoking. I reflected back on what I went through and it all made sense. The first part is the chemical addiction. Luckily, it only takes about 10 days to get the nicotine out of your system. The second part of the problem is the HABIT you have practiced over the years that has become deeply ingrained in your brain. This means that certain things become “triggers” to make you want to smoke. For me, I had a cigarette when I took a break from studying (and I studied a lot). I had one with my coffee in the morning and one with a beer on the weekends. I had one after eating and socially smoking was always involved. I smoked when I was stressed and I smoked while walking to class and after class. Like most smokers, having a cigarette was associated with all kinds of activities. That is why every time you do the activity (eat, drive, have a coffee or a drink, etc) you are going to want a cigarette UNTIL you KEEP PRACTICING a new behavior. For me, it was being very aware of simply sitting there…doing nothing. That was it. The hard new behavior was doing nothing. Funny thing is now I crave times like that, just sitting in quiet. The reality is for any bad habit the act of practicing doing something different over time actually changes the brain’s pathways so that eventually it becomes automatic. You don’t have to think about it or even try anymore. You just have to practice.

The third, and most difficult for me anyway, is the “emotional” aspect of the addiction. I did not understand what was going on at the time. I just found myself crying for no reason. I felt like someone died. After the fact I learned that I had made a friend of cigarettes. They were there for me every time I needed them. They connected the events of the day for me. They filled the space, a void. And when I DECIDED to let them go, well, the pain was real. It may sound weird to those of you who never smoked. But smokers will relate. It is painful to let it go, and that is because of the emotional addiction. It DID feel like someone died because something was gone. But just like with a bad break-up, you do get over it. And boy, life is SO much better, especially as you age. After I quit, when I walked to class, I could not believe how much energy I had! I could breathe! This is how I am supposed to feel, I remember thinking. Trust me, you don’t even realize how crappy you feel until you don’t feel crappy. It is life changing. I honestly, thank God, still feel that good. 45 years later (or more).

 Not to mention the money you save. Let’s just say if a pack of cigarettes is about 10 bucks, and you smoke a pack a day, that is over 3,000 dollars a year. If you quit now and retire in ten years, that’s 30,000 dollars for that new house down payment, or better yet, for that European River Cruise on your bucket list. Enough said about smoking. But please, think about it. I hope you make the decision, go through the pain and come out the other side. Check out The American Cancer Society website for help https://www.cancer.org/cancer/risk-prevention/tobacco/empowered-to-quit.html.

3. Ignoring Nutrition (or Obsessing about it)

 Unfortunately, most people I have known and met over the years think about eating and food with the very narrow view of how it affects their weight. They think “good” and “bad” when it comes to food. They often have dieted over the years, lost weight, gained it back and then stop paying attention at all. It is socially acceptable to diet and focus on eating only as it relates to helping you lose weight or not. That’s too bad because food and eating well can be such a wonderful and enjoyable part of life. It is sad that so many people are probably reading this and thinking “are you kidding me? I am tortured by thinking about food!” So, I am not going to pretend this is easy. It is not. What I am hoping to convince you to consider trying to change extremes of eating. The fact is that eating more fruits, vegetables and healthy fats as well as fiber have a huge influence on preventing disease in our future lives. Waiting until you have prediabetes or heart disease is not a great time to start thinking about what you are putting into your body.

 When it comes to healthy eating, there are a few different mindsets I have noticed. There are actually people who escaped the entire diet-obsessed weight-focused movement and do not have the diet mindset at all. They like to eat. They just honestly don’t think about it. Let’s say you fall into the “ignore nutrition” mindset. Maybe you don’t think about what you eat because you simply have no interest in food. You never enjoyed cooking, and having people over for a dinner party is more stressful than joyful. Planning meals for the week and packing a lunch to bring to work feels like so much work. So you tend to pick up a burger for lunch or just grab some chips, a soda and a candy bar to get through your day. Isn’t that why they invented Coca Cola? You feel ok, what is the big deal? It is also easy to buy some frozen meals or pizza or whatever. You grew up with canned green beans and corn. TV dinners were the norm as was hamburger helper. Twinkies and Bugles were a staple in your home (and they still are).We all did not grow up in families with adults who just loved to cook. Some of us just could not afford to eat differently anyway.

  OR maybe you DO have the diet mindset, and you don’t want to think about what you eat because you are not following a diet right now. You DID fall into the craze but right now, you are off the diet bandwagon. You know you will be going back on eventually, when you are motivated again to lose the weight. Maybe it’s Weight Watchers, or Noom, or counting carbs or calories or “clean eating” (hate that expression). It doesn’t matter, just that now you are ignoring it all. So why not just eat what is easy, convenient, tastes good, quick, and especially what you know you won’t be able to have when you start that diet?

On the other hand there are those of you who may be TOO focused on what you are eating (and it does not always necessarily mean you are concerned about your weight). You read every label looking for whatever it is you are afraid of (fat, carbs, additives, artificial ingredients, etc). You spend way too much time worrying about what you are eating. You used to enjoy food but now eating is work. You tend to eat the same thing everyday because over the years you have found the foods and meals that make you feel “safe”. From my experience these foods tend to be low fat and low sugar foods such as plain yogurt, vegetables, some fruits, lean chicken and cereals with absolutely no sugar (heaven forbid you buy the honey nut cheerios by mistake). Going out to eat or to a dinner party is never that fun because typically the foods offered are not on your safe list.

 The truth is there are many different types of “healthy” eaters too. If you buy and prepare healthy foods most of the time, but CAN enjoy, and actually look forward to going out to a favorite restaurant or to a friends for dinner, then no big deal. Maybe you even buy what I call “fun foods” like your favorite ice cream or chocolate to have in the house when you crave them. You never feel guilty after eating anything. You may read labels once in awhile to check for protein or sodium or a specific allergen you react to. Maybe heart disease runs in the family so you prefer to choose products with no trans fat and less saturated fat. Well, this type of eater is probably balanced, not stressed out over food, but simply trying to create a healthy food environment. This person actually truly enjoys their kale salads and Greek yogurt with chopped fruit. But they also like and enjoy a wide variety of foods. They have a healthy relationship with food and eating, and they likely never dieted.

Another type of “too healthy” eater typically feels guilty after eating. They may have a long history of dieting and weight fluctuations. They may be in and out of “diet jail”. They will not eat something if they don’t know what is in it. They count calories and will only eat small amounts, or they lose control and binge eat, alternating with dieting. If this sounds like you then getting an evaluation with an eating disorder specialist may the only way to know if you truly have a problem that needs to be addressed. You can ask your doctor for recommendations in your area and with your insurance. If you don’t get help now imagine still being trapped in this draining mindset 10 to 20 years from now. I know people who are. This is no way to live.

 So what is they best way to eat if you want to be enjoying life in your older years? I believe making the effort to eat healthier without excessive focus on being perfect sets the stage for both a healthier body in the future as well as lots of joy when it comes to food and eating . Learning about healthy cooking and eating actually DOES matter. I have seen people in their 50’s and 60’s experience all types of health issues simply because of poor eating habits. Type 2 diabetes, stroke, hypertension, heart disease, digestive issues, etc can often be prevented with just a little attention paid to healthier eating (without driving yourself crazy). Little changes add up if you start when you are younger. Simply focusing on adding in fruits and vegetables helps. Remember, all fruits and vegetables provide antioxidants. It is these wonderful substances that fight the bad things, that help prevent damage and disease. I know people in their 50’s who have had heart attacks and who have lived on “brown food” (burgers, fries and not much else) their entire lives. Could it have been prevented? It’s worth a try.

So where do you start? Maybe you could start buying apples and bring one to work. It is perfectly alright to make it easy. Add some frozen veggies to your freezer so you could just microwave a portion to have with your dinner, whatever that is (frozen broccoli has just as much vitamin A and fiber as fresh). Buy a bag of salad at the grocery store when they go on sale if making your own feels like way to much work. Maybe start experimenting with cooking on the weekends if you have more time then. The idea is to just start somewhere. Check out the website https://www.eatright.org/ and https://www.myplate.gov/ for more guidance on healthy eating and cooking.

 Remember, stressing about eating is not good either. The time to start working on your relationship with food and eating is now. Check out these websites https://thecenterformindfuleating.org/Principles-Mindful-Eating and https://www.intuitiveeating.org/10-principles-of-intuitive-eating/ for more guidance on mindful, non-diet eating.

4. Bad Sleeping Habits

  If you are going to bed with your phone or iPad or laptop, or binge watching your favorite TV show until the wee hours (after midnight) and you do this on a regular basis, it is going to be next to impossible to eat healthier or move more. We now know that lack of sleep actually has a profound affect on the foods we want to eat. Lack of sleep affects metabolic messengers that make us crave carbohydrates and fats so that our goals of choosing healthier foods are sabotaged. Have you ever noticed that you are craving junk foods or greasy fatty food after a horrible night sleep, or after late night partying? You just can’t ignore it. Your body won’t let you. The urge to eat junk food is as strong as the need to use the bathroom. It’s physiological. There’s no stopping it. So if you are motivated to eat healthier, please don’t blame yourself or feel bad if you struggle. If you aren’t sleeping well, that is most likely the culprit.

 The other huge factor in predicting a healthier life in the future, moving more, is also going to be next to impossible if you are tired. If you aren’t getting rested, if you wake up exhausted every day, even getting out of bed can be dreadfully difficult. Who could blame you if you don’t want to go for a walk and especially go to a gym? It’s even difficult to make the bed or do the dishes when you are consistently getting poor sleep, let alone go for a jog.

 I probably should have put sleep as number one, because without it nothing else healthy can happen. If this is you, I strongly recommend asking your doctor about a sleep study. Check out the website https://sleepeducation.org/sleep-disorders/. The sooner you find out what is going on and how to correct it the more active and enjoyable, healthy years you can add to your life! I know people personally who have said “I feel like a new person!” after getting their sleep issue corrected. Don’t wait! The time is now!

5. Avoiding the Doctor

 Prevention is so much easier than cure. If you knew you had a very tiny precancerous lesion on your body somewhere that, if removed, could save your life, what would you do? Remove it of course! But if you don’t know it is there, the outcome would be different. Yet, so many people just don’t take the time to do the important recommended “screenings” that could mean the difference between life or death. Everyone my age knows someone who passed away because they did not get diagnosed with a disease until it was too late. Don’t let that be you. Yes, it takes time and is not always fun but if you could see into the future, you would have wished you did it. I hope you get that mammogram you have been putting off, or that colonoscopy or skin check for that new mole you noticed. Do that stress test. Tell your doctor about that chest pain or shortness of breath or any other issue that is new and not going away. The earlier you address it the more likely you can prevent something horrible and the more likely you can look forward to enjoyable years ahead. 

There of course are more things that affect your future health. Hating your job, struggling with a relationship, going through stressful life events all affect health. It is well established that stress affects everything. If you wake up with dread everyday, don’t ignore it. Ask your doctor about affordable therapy. Taking that first step is sometimes all it takes to feel more positive about life. Making an appointment with a therapist is the first step towards your new, happier life.

 Don’t wait until you are 60. Don’t wait until you retire and you think you will have more time (you won’t). Do it now. Start today.

That will be a dollar.

 

New Year’s Resolutions and Weight: Tips for Success (if you really gotta do this)

On By jodietitianIn Uncategorized2 Comments

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It takes a lot of tries to finally grasp that rubber ducky!

I don’t do them. Making  New Year’s Resolutions that is. I don’t like setting myself up for failure. That doesn’t mean I don’t reflect on things at the end of the year….. it just may take me more than the month of January to figure things out. But, tonight is New Year’s Eve and having listened to the “new year’s resolution” chatter already, I am pretty confident there will be lots of people living it up like there’s no tomorrow (as my mom likes to say) until New Year’s Day is over and it’s time to face the music.

Yes, people make resolutions about all kinds of behaviors they don’t like about themselves, usually focused on some health behavior change. Things like quitting smoking (yay), exercising more, eating healthier, losing weight. Sometimes people vow to spend less, save more, get a new job, go back to school, get organized, experience new things, etc. Of course, most new year’s resolutions I tend to hear about are related to wanting to change one’s body. You know, lose weight. It’s not just me, if you google “New Year Resolutions” there are lots of top-10 lists, and right at the top of most of them is “lose weight”.

I am not a fan of dieting and here’s why: As my friends and family know, I have spent much of my career trying to help people focus on health instead of dieting and weight loss. They are surely tired of me saying “listen to your body”, and they joke about it (especially my husband who loves to tell me his body is telling him to eat another cookie). What most of them will never truly understand is the struggle, pain, loss and often tragedy of those struggling with disordered eating. I have been forever affected by the lives I was blessed to share with some true heroes. Young and old men and women, girls and boys, mothers and daughters, who have fought this terrible disease and manage to keep going, and even to thrive despite its grip on their lives. I can’t forget them. And so, that is why when people tell me they want to lose weight, I struggle. Also, I believe in the “Health at Every Size” philosophy, and that someone’s body size, BMI or weight is absolutely no indicator of health despite our obsession with BMI and numbers. However, there are individuals who have been in their natural weight ranges most of their lives but then, due to some gradual but detrimental changes in their lifestyles gain weight that is NOT normal for them….and may affect their health because of that reason, NOT because of the number on the scale. I totally understand why those people would want to lose weight, and although reverting back to their original lifestyles that promoted their normal weight sounds easy, it is not.

So, despite my passion to prevent eating issues, I realize I really should not discount the feelings of others. If there is something that is important to you and you are determined to do it, it is not fun to hear someone else tell you it is a dumb thing to do. Plus, it doesn’t change things. It really doesn’t help.  People are going to diet, period. I have learned to keep my mouth (kind of) shut and let others learn on their own what works for them. Inevitably, life goes on. People lose weight, they may regain it over time (we all know people who say “such and such diet works! I lost 30 pounds on it last year!”). So they do it again, it is comfortable for them. Maybe some people (the lucky ones who don’t fall into a disordered eating pattern) may learn something good (like how to make healthier meals, smarter ways to shop, meal prep ideas, etc).  Do I wish they would avoid giving the diet industry even one more penny…..yes. But that is because I believe the diet industry all too often seems to prey on the insecurity and desperation of people striving to lose weight, and that bothers me. They make money off of the reality that most people are repeat customers due to the simple fact that by design, you start and then end the diet. Unless someone really becomes self-aware and uses the lessons learned in the right way, letting go of the rest of the ridiculousness all too often results in weight regain. For example, counting points (or calories, or carbs) for life just is not normal eating and not possible. I have NEVER seen someone adopt that as a forever lifestyle. So, you pay again. And again. And again. But back to what I said initially, I am not going to try to talk anyone out of anything. Not any diet (unless I know for a fact it is dangerous to that person), not any lifestyle, not any food. I am not an expert on anyone’s life, they are, so they know what is best for them, and they need to travel and learn in their own way, even if it takes a few rounds of it. What I do want to do, however is share what I hope might prevent disordered eating and what might truly help someone adopt a healthier way of looking at dieting, food and weight.

So, if you are one of those people with “lose weight” at the top of your New Year’s Resolution list, here are my tips for you:

  1.  Reflect on your “weight and lifestyle” history. Was there a time in your adult life that your weight was settled in a 5-10 pound range for several years and you didn’t have to pay attention to it? What was your lifestyle like? Sometimes we have even minor changes in lifestyle that eventually affect our health (or weight) such as moving from the city and walking everywhere to moving to the country and driving everywhere. Over time, the decrease in physical activity has an affect on our body. With that said, excessive physical activity isn’t exactly a doable lifestyle either. I have heard people say “in college I only weighed such and such, I want to be that weight again”. Well, in college, if you were on the track team and ran 70 miles a week, or maybe walked across campus day and night, or danced your butt off every weekend, that is not typical! You were probably at an unnatural low weight for you as an adult, and your present weight is more normal and healthy. Instead of thinking you should go back in time and be a certain weight, consider reflecting on your current activity level. Do you get an hour of joyful movement daily? Maybe that should be a focus instead of that number on the scale. So turn up that dance music, join the Y, find a walking buddy, or whatever you need to do to incorporate healthy movement into your life. Or, did your weight always fluctuate? Were you always on a diet, always trying to lose weight? Have you suffered from disordered eating such as binge eating alternating with trying to starve yourself and skip meals? If you have had extreme fluctuations in eating over many years and never got help, I would suggest an evaluation by a therapist who specializes in eating issues (ask your doctor for a recommendation). If, however, you have slipped into some unhealthy lifestyle and/or eating patterns such as eating out every day, drinking lots of soda or alcohol, watching 8 hours of TV a day, staying up way too late then maybe your weight really has been affected by these unhealthy changes and they are worth working on. And yes, although I would be happy because changing these behaviors will make you healthier, they may also help you be at your healthier weight, too (your goal). Bottom line: your weight and dieting history affect everything. Don’t ignore it and don’t compare yourself to others.
  2.  Reconsider your goals. If your diet plan or program makes any suggestions regarding how much weight you should lose (per week or whatever), I would suggest ignoring that. If you think your unique, individual body and metabolism is going to cooperate with anything but its own reality, think again. You will be setting yourself up for disappointment. You will not feel successful if you set yourself up with expectations involving numbers. Our bodies just don’t work that way. Fluid shifts may result in changes in the number on the scale which have absolutely nothing to do with what is happening regarding body composition (muscle vs fat vs water), so why judge yourself on it? The funniest story I can think of is when one of my patients came in after having ice cream the night before, thinking her weight was going to be up. Instead, it was down. “Oh wow, I didn’t know ice cream makes you lose weight!” she said….I had to laugh. The lesson is that your weight is going to fluctuate no matter what. Instead of focusing too much on that, could you consider looking at all the good things you have been accomplishing to be healthier?  Have you been eating more fruits and vegetables? Drinking more water, less alcohol and sugary drinks? Walking more? Sleeping better? Maybe instead of feeling bad because you did not lose weight, stop and think about all the healthy changes you have made. Find something positive. Then move on.
  3.  When your body talks, LISTEN. I was going to word this one “Beware of all-or-nothing thinking”. All too often when people start weight loss regimens they are “on the diet”. This implies something really powerful which many do not understand when they undertake this endeavor. It can be a set-up if you are not careful. I have used the term “diet jail” before. This analogy is pretty easy to understand, and worth repeating. When you start a diet it psychologically places you in “jail” where all the acceptable foods exist. The lean meats, fruits, vegetables and healthy “good” meals that you are going to restrict yourself to are available, and you are expected to eat a certain way as long as you are in there and until you lose the desired amount of weight. Outside of this self-imposed jail is the “bad” food. This is where the chips, ice cream, cookies, chicken wings or whatever else you are trying to avoid are. Unfortunately (or fortunately) our bodies know better than we do regarding what we are missing (again, I’ve talked about this but worth repeating). Since most diets are deprived of adequate fats and carbohydrates, if too restrictive our regulatory systems may send signals to our brains to fix it. This means you just may crave a cookie. Or chocolate. Or chicken wings. Since these are not in the jail (on the diet) where you planned to live for awhile, what is a dieter supposed to do? Often, since it is almost impossible to ignore body signals (have you ever had to REALLY pee on a road trip??) you give in. You break out of jail (or pull over on the highway). That is ok. What is not good is the way you react to this experience. Here is where you can make a change. If like most people, when you do what your regulatory system demands (eat the cookie, satisfy your body’s need for carbohydrates to function properly) you may be inclined to binge or overeat. It is natural to want to hoard something when you are deprived of it. But you don’t live on a deserted island, you are not a contestant on survivor and you really can get a cookie tomorrow if you wanted. Do you feel guilty because you ate the cookie? Guessing the answer for most dieters is “yes”. Well, instead of just accepting your self-judgment, why not try to give yourself some credit for being so intuitive and listening to what your body is trying to tell you? Can you try to eat just the amount of whatever it is to make that nagging thought (need) go away? The reality is that a few cookies (5 chocolate kisses probably satisfies a true chocolate craving) is no big deal. Binge eating IS a big deal because of the way it tends to make people feel (both physically and emotionally). Even then, it truly is a learning experience (“wow, this is harder for me than I thought. Maybe I need to research strategies to prevent this next time). The bottom line, if you are a dieter, this is likely to happen depending on the diet. If you can learn to eat healthier yet still fit in the foods you crave this is a behavior you can take with you for life, long after the diet ends. (Note: this does not apply to those suffering from Binge Eating Disorder, where professional help is needed; this advice is meant for the typical dieter who may overeat just because they broke out of diet jail).
  4.  Don’t give specific foods magical powers. Here’s a news flash: all food are equal when it comes to weight gain. I am not talking “big picture” for surely, if you eat a lopsided diet your appetite may be affected (no protein or no fat or no carbohydrates may affect your appetite and what you crave over time). I am talking day to day, meal to meal, snack to snack differences in food choice. Think of the ice cream girl. The ice cream did not make her lose weight, and if she gained weight it would not have been because of the ice cream. If your diet calls for only fruit for snacks for example, and you have that day when you just can’t look at another apple, having that muffin truly won’t make a difference. Again, it’s that darn smart body wisdom again, telling you what you need. So don’t give food that power. It doesn’t have it. Eating kale everyday or drinking some magic juice also won’t do anything magical. It won’t negate poor sleep or stress or smoking or a sedentary lifestyle. But if you like kale, eat kale : D
  5.  If there is a magic bullet, it is this.  Sleep. If you are staying up past 11 pm or midnight chances are you are going to affect your appetite in ways that won’t make you happy if you are a dieter.  According to one study, ” physiologic evidence suggests short sleep may influence weight gain through effects on appetite, physical activity and/or thermoregulation”- see Sleep Study . In other words, getting less than 6 hours of sleep may put you at risk for feeling hungrier, being too tired to be active and/or affect your metabolism in ways that may promote weight gain that is not normal for you. Clues you may not be getting enough sleep: needing a long nap on a regular basis. Naps longer than 20 minutes or so tend to interfere with falling asleep at night, and so the cycle begins. Do me a favor, do an experiment for a week and don’t nap, don’t take electronics to bed, turn off the TV, avoid caffeinated drinks after noon, avoid alcohol and try to get to bed by 10 pm (if you can). See how you feel.
  6.  Learn Learn Learn. If you look at your “diet” solely as a means to lose weight and change the way you look you are bound to be back where you started eventually. Instead, this may be an opportunity to learn so much about yourself. You may be forced for the first time to go grocery shopping in different isles. You probably have to cook more, and this is a good thing. Most healthy minded people I know have learned to enjoy cooking because in order to eat something both tasty and healthy, you really do need some skills. It does not have to be difficult, the microwave is fine. I know people who may have gone on and off diets but always have a few recipes they kept because they were really good. I suggest keeping a collection of dishes you have tried, maybe fast lunches or crock pot meals. No need to ditch the yummy healthy recipes you will find on this journey you have chosen. I tend to jot things down when I find a recipe I end up loving. I use google a lot! For example “Healthy Breakfast Casserole” gave me my favorite fast make-ahead breakfast for when I have company. “Best Ever Quinoa Sliders” and “Best Ever Gumbo” gave me other favorites. It really can be fun! I jot them down and stuff them in my recipe box (hopefully, you are more organized than I am). But healthy cooking is one thing to learn and keep, learning about yourself is the other great thing. Some changes come easy (maybe you discover yoga and love it). Some changes seem impossible. You may learn you struggle with one thing or another. Maybe it is too hard to break a night eating habit. Maybe you discover you can’t stop eating certain foods in moderation. No matter what happens to your weight, you will learn about yourself. And if you can’t fix it,just learning that you may need some help/support is a life-changing accomplishment.
  7.  If your diet program only focuses on food, be careful. Our eating habits are no simple matter! It drives me crazy when programs or health professionals spit out obvious information we all know without considering the individual experiences of a person. “Don’t eat too much sugar”, “Exercise more”, “Take smaller portions”, “Drink more water”,  “Limit eating out”, etc. etc. etc. What about the person who has tried to be active but just can’t because they were made fun of their whole life in gym class, failing that stupid pull-up test and mile run? What about the person who has been using food for 30 years because for them, it really is the only way they feel better? Or the person who has dieted for years and just can’t get out of that “all-or-nothing” mentality? Or the super picky eating adult who still only eats 3 foods? What about emotional eating, binge drinking, workaholism, stress, hating your job, bad relationships, not to mention health issues such as hypothyroidism, chronic pain, depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia? It is way too easy to give advice, to think you are helping someone by spelling out eating and exercise instructions. But that is just one little piece of the puzzle. If you are determined to use a diet plan, please know that it is not the end-all and there is no shame in needing support for other things you struggle with in life. It is all inter-connected after all.

So that is my simple advice. I have so much more I would like to share but time is short today! We are getting ready for a month on the road, doing some exploring of the Southern USA in January. Being away will give me that time to reflect on the New Year and where I want to go. So far, I will share one thing I have figured out since my retirement in July. I still feel obligated to share my experiences somehow, to hopefully help others. Especially in the world of pediatrics and how weight issues are treated at times in children. I feel the need to get my 2 cents in, so finishing that book, even if it is just published on Amazon, is definitely a goal. Other than that, like most everyone else, I will continue to be grateful for all the love in my life, from family to friends to past co-workers and patients, students and families. ALL are what make me so thankful and feel so blessed.

Oh, that adorable little guy in the picture reaching for the rubber ducky? My new grandson! At not even 6 months old, he made me realize we must be born with determination. I watched him for hours mastering the skill of grasping for his toy (that is after he took a few months to get the fingers-in-the-mouth skill down pat). His face was contorted from concentrating so hard. His eyebrows furrowed, he looked so intense, he tried so hard. And when he finally got it and found out how to bring it to his mouth, the delight on his face was just awesome. We can do it, too. We can find our balance. It won’t come easy, nothing good or worthwhile ever does. If you are reading this, you surely were successful with lots of things in life (you got the ducky!). You got this, too. Happy New Year!!!!!

Checking Out: Sometimes, you just gotta do it

On By jodietitianIn Uncategorized4 Comments

IMG_9335I cannot believe so much time has passed. Here it is, St. Patty’s Day 2019 and I have not written anything since last Fall? I used to be so disciplined, waking up early every Saturday morning to write. There was always something that felt pressing to talk about, or some important message (in my mind) to share with whoever might be interested. Sometimes, I just needed to vent over some ridiculous diet thing I came across, to be sure to set it straight. Over the past several weeks (months), however, I feel like I have “checked out”. Trust me, there have been moments where I have said to myself “OMG, you need to write something about that, that is ridiculous!”. But then, the holidays came, I needed to visit my mom, the couch looked more inviting than the computer, “This Is Us” sucked me in. Football. Politics. You name it, I had an excuse.

What motivates me now to write again? It struck me that what I am going through is probably very common. The feelings that surface when you don’t do what you think you should be doing are different depending on who you are, but I am guessing there are lots of people like me who feel a bit guilty, inadequate, not living up to expectations. The funny thing is that at this point in my life I thought I had gotten over all that. “It’s good enough” has been my mantra for years now. And yet, I have been judgmental of myself, feeling “intellectually lazy”. By that I mean, I just don’t feel like thinking sometimes. This is different than just feeling “lazy” physically, which happens to all of us (listen to your body, I always say).

Anyway, with the New Year come and gone, I thought, “should I make a resolution to start writing again?” Nah. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t believe in setting unrealistic expectations for yourself (just another reason to feel inadequate!). Instead, I have kind of accepted that my life may be shifting as I get older, closer to retirement age (although as of now, I just can’t imagine not working at the jobs I love, with people I cherish). Maybe it is coming to the realization that as time goes by, career is so much less important to me than other things in life. I feel like things are changing fast. I see my mom getting older, slowing down. And although I haven’t lost energy physically (thank God) when mom and I go for long rides in the countryside, neither one of us can remember where we are going or how we got there….FYI if you have to get lost in Connecticut, Litchfield and Cornwall are beautiful, New Haven not so much.

Yes, I have to admit I enjoy getting lost in the countryside and listening to my mom’s stories much more than thinking about dietitian kind of things. There are times when I quite honestly am really tired of being a “nutritionist”. I get tired of the reality that so many people think about eating and food in ways that to me are just not fun. Sometimes it makes me sad that a person can’t just “dig in” and enjoy food because their thoughts are busy judging, fretting, worrying, feeling guilty, planning, ugh. Sometimes I wish I did not notice these things, but because of my career and because of the clients I worked with for so many years, I can’t help it. I have spent decades trying to undo whatever damage I can, every chance I can. Even though I don’t work specifically with eating disorders any longer, I still try to give anyone a reality check who asks me for one. “Is the keto diet good?” NO. “Aren’t carbs fattening? ” NO. “Should I count calories?” NO.  And on and on and on. I have been trying in my daily life to help anyone who asks me a nutrition question to avoid the lure of crazy diets that promise to make you into something that supposedly is better than who you are right now. I have spent lots of energy over the years trying to teach people, anyone who asks, about a more holistic approach to feeling happy and good in your body. This involves intuitive eating (which is much harder for some than others, much more difficult than it sounds for those who have dieted or who have body image issues or disordered eating). It also involves good sleep, joyful movement, good hydration, healthy relationships and mental health in general.

So I guess the reason I needed a “time out” or to “check out” for awhile is just because I got tired. And just because I am writing now does not change anything. I still am tired of thinking about nutrition, but I am not tired of trying to help others enjoy their lives. I may have just shifted, I have noticed, into enjoying the cooking and cuisine aspect of it all more than the nutrition aspect. It is just so awesome to watch as someone (tentatively) tries a spinach ball or mango salsa for the first time, and ends of loving it. It is even more rewarding to see an autistic kiddo who used to only eat candy now accept pears and strawberries and blueberries. It even makes me happy when my corn-dog lovin husband tells me my quinoa sliders are delicious : D

My priorities have definitely shifted, and I honestly don’t know when I may feel like writing again, and who knows what I may feel like writing about….but spring is around the corner, so I am guessing it may have to do with flowers…..

In the meantime, please check out this article about how people judge what we eat, it says it all     .Don’t Judge

Happy St. Patty’s Day!! Hope you eat or drink something green today, and I don’t mean kale!

 

Two Cookies and a Yogurt

On By jodietitianIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Image may contain: foodThe other day I was casually chatting with a young man about healthy eating. When someone finds out you are a dietitian they often have lots of questions. Anyway, this young man said something that really stuck in my head: “I feel like a war is going on in my head” he said when talking about trying to eat healthier. Apparently, he had been trying to lose weight and thought he should totally avoid eating junk food, and, just like everyone else who tries to “not eat” something, it creates a struggle.  But the way he described it as a “war” made me think. I actually could relate to having “wars” in my head with lots of things. We all have ideas of what the “right’ thing to do is, and struggle with decisions on a daily basis. Whether it be about what we should be accomplishing, if we should spend money on something, if we should have another drink, or visit a loved one, or make an appointment for a colonoscopy.

But when it comes to food and eating, what does this “war” mean? What is going on here? Where does it all stem from?

I have my opinion about that war, and where it originates when it comes to eating, and it is complicated. I don’t think we can ever totally come to a conclusion with this as everyone’s experience is different. I know people who grew up with health food nuts (sorry, don’t mean to offend anyone, but I am referring to those who are kind of obsessed with eating healthy foods only…..whatever you consider healthy food….you are talking to an Italian here, I have trouble thinking sausage is not ok). And then there are those who have a different food background with cultures dictating the foods they are exposed to. Or, think about someone who grew up with a weight watcher kind of mom who was always dieting and talking about her weight, jumping on a scale and degrading herself depending on the force of gravity that day. Another common scenario I have seen these days is the truly good and caring parents who have heard from the pediatrician about BMI concerns with their child. These parents unknowingly start thinking they need to restrict their children and scold them for wanting what everyone else is eating. Then of course there is the cultural influence, the final word of what we are supposed to look like. One year big breasts are the thing to have for women and the next year it is all about muscles. Abs always seem to be “in”. The bottom line is how we look at food can be complicated. God bless the untainted soul who somehow is resilient to all of it. Far and few between.

No matter what the contributing factors are as to why an individual may be so affected as to feel at war with themselves when it comes to food, it is helpful to know we are not alone. The experts have been looking into this for many years. There happens to be decades of research exploring this phenomenon of what is typically referred to as “restrained eating”. I have talked about this before as it is a theme that never seems to have disappeared. People don’t seem to stop and re-evaluate, even when they experience the same thing over and over (dieting, losing weight, gaining it back, dieting again). Not sure why, but guessing it has to do with the constant focus and pressure on being the right body size, something that women especially seem to distract themselves with. Although those suffering from eating disorders focus on eating, weight and food for other reasons, I am referring to the “typical” dieter, that person who just simply wants to lose weight. Even for these people, looking at food in a restrictive way eventually can become harmful. The person who starts out just wanting to lose a few pounds often starts to look at food in a different way (once they start dieting). For example, before the weight concerns and dieting/restrained eating started, maybe they were a bit picky about what kind of cookie they liked. They could easily refuse an oreo because they only liked their mom’s homemade oatmeal cookies. Nothing could hold a candle to those. But, suddenly, after 3 months of dieting and avoiding sweets altogether, even fake cookies look good. At a meeting at work, if cookies are on the table, they call out to dieters. The bigger the “war” in a person’s head, the louder that cookie’s voice. The non-dieter, on the other hand, may glance at those cookies and just not want one. Yes, any cookie takes on a different meaning depending on the war in someone’s head.

But is it not just about cookies. According to that young man I was talking to, any “bad” food was a food to be avoided. Once he realized he needed to lose weight he fell into the trap of thinking what everyone else in the world seems to think: certain foods make you fat and other (healthy) foods don’t. The good/bad  all-or-nothing thinking when it comes to food is the problem yet again. Giving any one food this particular power is a mistake. When it comes to health (or even weight for that matter) NO FOOD IN THE WORLD has the power to affect either (well, unless of course it is poisonous, but that is not what I am talking about and I think you know just what I mean).

What I told this young man is the same thing I will tell you. Yes, nutrition matters because eating a variety of healthy foods gives us everything we need to feel good, do what we want and prevent illness. But, it does not have to be that complicated. I believe in working on “mindful” and “intuitive” eating, and listening to one’s body, which is not easy for everyone (especially dieters or those with eating disorders). But, for the typical dieter who is at war with themselves, I have seen it work to free them. I have seen people actually learn to have just one slice of cake instead of half of the entire cake…..like they did when they told themselves they should not have any, ever. When people are able to tune out the “war” voice, and instead tune in to their true hunger and actually give themselves permission to have it, a funny thing happens. Your body really does not need or want more than a normal amount of anything. It is only when we deprive ourselves, when we restrict and unrealistically tell ourselves we can’t ever eat something that we break down and overeat it. And continue a war that we will never win.

Instead, I suggest you care about your health, make it a priority. Eat your vegetables (experiment with ways to prepare them to make them taste yummy such as roasting). Include protein sources with all your meals because it makes you feel better and last longer. Eat fruits you enjoy because they taste good and are healthy. Buy wheat bread instead of white. But, for heaven’s sake, don’t go to war over something as simple as a food choice. Your body knows what to do if you learn to listen to it. A normal serving of anything will never hurt you. But, if you deprive yourself, you definitely will be more obsessed with food and more likely to overeat and binge on it…..and not feel so good afterward.

Oh, you might be wondering what the heck “Two Cookies and a Yogurt” means. Well, I hate throwing away food, especially cookies. So on New Year’s Eve when my good friends Barbara and Fred had us over, there were gobs of Italian cookies leftover. She offered them to me, and well, you know, I couldn’t say no. They ended up in my freezer and I have been having them with my coffee for breakfast ever since (only 6 left I think!) No, cookies do not comprise a well balanced breakfast however, throw in a Greek yogurt and you are good to go. Well, I am. Everyone is different. Eat what is good for YOU for breakfast.

But don’t go to war over a cookie.

 

 

5 Tips to Deal With Food Anxiety: When You Can’t Make Up Your Mind About What to Eat

On By jodietitianIn Uncategorized2 Comments

buffetI am not a fan of buffets. I remember the very first time I went on a cruise, and hearing about the buffets and how wonderful they were. Not to me. Don’t get me wrong, the food looked amazing, but there were way too many choices: Asian food, Mexican, Italian, Thai, sushi bar, ice cream bar, salad bar, dessert bar, fruit bar and good old American burgers and fries. I would see something I thought looked yummy, but then walk a few feet and change my mind. I know the limits of my tummy capacity and there was no way I could try something of everything. So instead, we decided on the sit down dinner option (the only negative being you had to look presentable). Anyway, this option ended up being perfect. Each night we were presented with a limited (gourmet) menu with only a few choices for appetizer, salad, main course and dessert. This I could do. Not to mention, we were treated like royalty, and the food was spectacular. I loved it.

Cruises aside, I believe having anxiety about what to eat or even whether to eat is a common thing, especially among those who are trying to eat healthier, or trying to lose weight. Yesterday I did a workshop on a college campus (all women) and one of the questions was “How do we know what to eat? What do we go by? I have a friend who writes everything down, all this information about what she is eating (like grams of carbs, calories, fat), it seems so stressful, and I just don’t have time for that!”

Great question, I thought. But it is so hard to answer in this technological and perfect-body focused world we live in. Even websites and apps with good intentions, and that want to promote health (such as the Choose My Plate website) seem to be fat-phobic and hyper-focused on monitoring every morsel of food and calorie burned in exercise, all with the intent of assisting someone in attaining a lower weight. But with technology, and all of the new food products out there taking advantage of our phobias of sugar and carbs and fat, it really can get confusing. I hear people wondering out loud if their lunch is healthy, if they should eat this or that, complaining about eating something they consider “bad”, feelings of guilt about what they eat, or what they want to eat. When it comes to deciding what to eat for breakfast, or what to pack (or buy) for lunch, or what to cook for dinner, people struggle. And when a restaurant is involved, it can get very confusing.

Some people may not be able to relate to this stress at all. They eat whatever is there. They truly don’t care. God bless you! But please don’t get frustrated with your family members or friends who just can’t ignore the bombardment of nutrition information or body shaming that is out there. So, this post is for them. If you get really confused about what to eat, or if you feel bad about choices you sometimes make, here are some tips I hope make you feel better. After all, eating is only one small part of your very interesting life!

Tip #1: Food isn’t everything. Look at your “big picture”. When it comes to being healthy, things like stress at work, poor sleep, not exercising and not having good friends and/or family are truly more important. Food comes next. If you figure out how to make everything else good, usually eating healthy is much easier. So, answer these questions honestly: do you sleep well? are your relationships healthy and nurturing? do you love what you do? are you able to be active? If you don’t have these issues settled then it will be much harder to figure out how to manage to eat healthier too.

Tip#2: Do you eat your 3 meals a day? Breakfast, lunch and dinner are words that our modern lifestyle seems to forget. Back in the day, I remember looking forward to eating lunch. These days, lots of people feel guilty taking time out of their busy lives to enjoy a good lunch and instead get by with coffee, packages of crackers or fast snacks. They down giant coffees instead of breakfast and wonder whey they need to nibble all night. Making meal times a priority in your life is important. If you nurture your body by giving it enough energy in the form of a meal three times a day, you are more likely to feel good, have energy and make wiser choices when it comes to eating and your health.

Tip # 3: When it is time to decide what to eat, and you are confused, ask yourself: am I craving anything? If you are, well, there is your answer as far as what to eat. Remember, a craving is when you really want something that you did not see. It is different than a trigger food, which is a food you see and then think you want. You can get over a trigger food, because once you walk by it (or change the channel or walk away from the coffee break room where the donuts are) you will forget about that food. But, if you are truly craving a food, if it is on your mind all day (for example, I sometimes really really really want Buffalo Wild Wings boneless Thai wings and boneless Garlic Parmesan wings). I start thinking about them at work and have to order them so I can pick them up on the way home. This happens about 3 or 4 times a year. It doesn’t matter what I may have planned for dinner or what is simmering in the crock pot. I want wings. I believe in listening to that voice that tells you that you want something specific. You really can live without a salad every meal. If, on the other hand, you are not craving anything specific, then by all means, go home and have that yummy healthy whatever you are simmering in that crock pot. (Note: for those suffering from Binge Eating Disorder or other eating disorder, this advice may not apply and you should use the strategies that work for you).

Tip #4: If you are one of those people who are confused about your feelings of hunger (not really sure if you are hungry or not) then it can be difficult to know if you should eat or not. If you can relate to this, then you might want to do some reflecting at those moments when you are wanting to eat, or not sure if you should eat, or perplexed as to how much you should eat. First, ask yourself: when did I last eat? If it was an hour ago then you may not really be hungry. If it was over 4 hours ago then chances are, your are hungry and need to eat. But the other important question to ask is”what did I eat?” If you actually did eat only an hour ago but thought you could get by with just a yogurt for lunch, then you my friend are probably hungry. If, on the other hand, only an hour has gone by and you had a good meal with protein, fat, carbs and fiber (think nice sandwich with meat on a roll, lettuce and tomato, some pretzels and a yogurt) then you might not really be hungry and should try to figure out what you really DO need.

Tip#5: Nutrition Matters, but one meal does not make the man (or woman). In other words, yes, you need to learn about healthy eating, cooking, food preparation, and the basics about what someone your age needs to have energy and be healthy. You may not like milk so may need a calcium supplement. You may not eat meat so would need to find another source or protein and iron. Yes, there is a reason we nutritionists say you need to “eat a rainbow” every day (make half that plate colors!) But, your body does not really care that your day to day eating has to be perfect. All it cares about is that over time, you get what you need. Nothing bad will ever happen just because you did not drink milk or eat veggies and fruits for a day or 2. Trends over time are what matter.

So, if you don’t want to think too much about eating or nutrition, well, that might be a good thing. Instead, keep it easy. Just work on increasing the basics: more fruits and veggies, including protein foods with your meals so you don’t crash and drinking more water.

Extra Tip: If you ever find you stress out too much about what to eat you may want to seek out some support from a therapist who specializes in eating issues. Life is too short, and eating should be a joy, not add stress to your life. In fact, too much anxiety around eating may be a risk factor for disordered eating (see link below for a summary article on the relationship between anxiety and eating disorders). In the mean time, enjoy those buffets in moderation. Me, I will be at Buffalo Wild Wings.

Anxiety and Disordered Eating

 

Nutrition 101: Eat Like a Kid

On By jodietitianIn Uncategorized, weight2 Comments

Dunkin Donuts 0006

When I was a kid, I loved Sundays. My family would all go to church and after the mass my older sister and I would walk over to the rectory (where the priests lived) and go down to the basement to open the  money envelopes. It was a job we got paid for in donuts. Yup, after all the envelopes were open and counted, Father Flower (his real name) would come in with a box of donuts for all of us (maybe a half dozen of us trustworthy young Catholics). I loved donuts back then because we rarely got them. They were a treat. But it didn’t end there.

My dad would pick us up and him and I would go together to Valley Acres. This was a small local store that had the best cold cuts in town. We would wait in line and get our ham and salami and provolone. Next stop, Lin Lou’s bakery for the poppy seed hard rolls and Italian bread, the best. Finally, home for lunch. Mom would have the peppers all fried up by now. We would make the most delicious sandwiches on those fresh rolls with provolone and ham and salami  and fried peppers (nobody thought about cholesterol back then). After that, I would help my mom make the meatballs (it was Sunday after all, which was always pasta day, sauce, meatballs, sausage, eggplant if mom was feeling like it). I loved grating the Italian cheese and mixing up the meatballs for my mom. She would do the cooking and then we would all go playing outside while the sauce simmered all day. No electronics back then, and only 3 channels on the TV so not worth it, unless of course it was football season. Then I would be on the couch with my dad, glued to the Green Bay Packers, his team. Anyway, dinner would be all together at the kitchen table, a big bowl of meatballs and Italian sausage, pasta with sauce and freshly grated cheese, great Italian bread from Lin Lou’s bakery, green salad with tomatoes and cucumbers and lots of oregano and olive oil. Maybe dad would have a glass of cheap Italian red wine, and we would eat and enjoy every bite. Then we did our jobs, clearing the table, doing the dishes, putting them away. And that was it.

Today, many years later, I think about how eating was back then. Nobody really thought about it much that I can remember. When it came to eating as a kid, all I remember was that I loved the food my mom cooked. I loved the Italian traditions. And I loved those donuts. I sometimes roll my eyes when I listen to adults talk about food and diets and nutrition, and I often think “TOO MUCH THINKING!!!” Somehow, we survived, even without knowing much about nutrition. We just ate. And, mostly, we ate what we liked. What happened? Why don’t people do that anymore? How did it get to where we need to analyze every morsel we put in our mouths?

Yes, since then, we have learned a lot about how to eat to be healthy. We have learned about antioxidants and phytochemicals and fiber. Funny thing, the old advice of “eat your vegetables” pretty much covers all that. Back then, fast food establishments were far and few between. We had one McDonald’s in the state of Connecticut when I was in grade school and when we went once or twice a year, it was a treat. Those discs of a burger were very different than my dad’s burgers on the grill, but french fries were something new. Yes, we enjoyed our McDonald’s and it did no damage. But then again, we went so infrequently, and there were only normal sized burgers and fries and one size of shake. These days our food environment is much different. I think it messes with our natural ability to eat the right amount. I have worked with lots of families who don’t have much money, so going to buffets is a big treat. Back when I was in high school we had to drive to a different state to get to a buffet. It was a once a year thing all teenagers did when they got their license…I think the place was called Custy’s and it was in Rhode Island and the big draw was the seafood…lobster, shrimp and all the kinds of things you really could not afford on a regular basis. I never went but I was fascinated by the stories of how much people ate…how many lobsters, pounds of shrimp, etc. I didn’t really get it because I did not eat fish back then.

Looking back at our attitudes and behavior around food as kids or even teenagers is interesting when you compare it to how we think about food as adults. Somehow, along the line we lose something. We seem to lose (from my experiences anyway) simple appreciation for yummy food without judgment. As adults, we just can’t seem to help adding our adjectives to food. “This is bad but I am not eating carbs tomorrow”. When we go to a party or out to dinner, instead of looking at the menu for your favorite food, or to see what sounds the most yummy (like you did when you were little), most people are weighing the calories or healthiness or carbs or trying to figure out the points.  All of these cognitive methods to figure out what to eat weigh in to help you make the “right” or “healthy”decision about what to get. But, what most people are unaware of is that all this thinking interferes with your natural ability to choose food you like and enjoy.

Sometimes, of course, people who are on a “diet” or restricting to lose weight tend to behave somewhat differently. If they are being “bad” they tune out their body altogether, order too much food, overeat and feel very uncomfortable after because tomorrow, they will be “good” again. This is not what I am referring to as far as natural eating and choosing what you like. This is almost the opposite extreme, a type of “force-feeding” borne out of food insecurity, or the feeling that you may never get it again. That is what tends to happen with people who diet.

It is not easy for most people to accept the idea that you “can eat whatever you want to” and still be ok. You might be thinking “if I did that, I would gain 20 pounds!” The key word is “whatever”. The biggest mistake I have seen people make is giving power to food. Not any food, only certain foods. Somehow, a 200 calorie candy bar has more power than a 200 calorie spinach salad. People mistakenly believe that lone candy bar will “make you fat” because it falls into that “bad” category. The spinach salad with the high protein boiled eggs however, despite providing the same amount of energy (calories) is never the bad guy. Nope, most people would agree, hard boiled eggs and spinach will never make you fat.

What I have seen most people do who have moved away from eating foods they love is a tendency to walk around almost never being satisfied. As a result, they may tend to nibble and pick on more and more “good” or “healthy” food…..only to eventually consume more calories than they would had they satisfied their appetite (both physically and sensory satisfaction) by eating exactly what they really wanted. The key is they are less likely to overeat when they are satisfied. Remember, however, everyone is very different. I am referring to those who do not suffer from Binge Eating Disorder (BED) and those who have typical brains and appetites that may only be off a bit because of normal dieting. There are those whose brain chemistries will lead them to eat beyond a typical amount if they allow themselves certain kinds of foods (usually sugar and fat). Most people (I hope) who have such an eating issue usually work with specialists who help them cope with their issues. The typical dieter or even the typical “healthy” eater however, is who I am reaching out to.

The bottom line is that it is NOT the “whatever” that matters, but the “how much”. If you eat just one candy bar (or burger and fries, or whatever the case may be when it comes to “bad” food) it is no different to your body than eating an equivalent of “healthy” food that may not satisfy you. The secret is to listen to your fullness. For those of you who are disconnected from this feeling, it may take time, but don’t give up. Do some experimenting. I often use the example of a college girl I worked with years ago. She had been eating very little during the day, restricting herself to a plain salad for lunch, but then began nibbling on “healthy” snacks throughout the night. She would have several fat free granola bars, rice cakes, sugar free jello and apples and by the time she went to bed, she did not feel so great. She also was frustrated with having to be thinking about food and eating all night. When I asked her what she really wanted at lunch if she could eat whatever she wanted, she said “a cheeseburger”. So she took the risk and agreed that just once she would get a burger for lunch and see how she felt. I will never forget her expression (and happiness) she had at her next visit when she shared her experience with me. “I felt so satisfied! And the best part was that I was not thinking about food all day! I actually ended up having just one snack instead of a dozen and felt much better!” She had to take that risk and try it once. But it literally changed her life.

Does this mean you should throw nutrition caution to the wind? Not care about eating healthy ever again? Of course not! I believe in choosing healthy food, learning to cook healthy meals but educating yourself on how to make food yummy, too. However I also believe in living in reality. The fact is that you may really want the onion rings and not the side salad. And that’s ok. Plus, if you eat a few onion rings and feel satisfied I bet you are less likely to be seeking out food shortly after a restrictive meal.

So go ahead, take that step, even if it means just being honest with yourself (even if you can’t actually order that favorite food, at least you are considering it). Who knows, a fluffernutter may be in your near future yet.

PS A bit of advice: if you have been eating an extremely high fat diet such as visiting McDonald’s or other fast food joint on a daily basis, your body may actually be craving more fat than is typical. If you honestly don’t have a clue about nutrition, you may want to seek advice from a registered dietitian. Ask your doctor for a referral to a dietitian near you. Even one visit will give you direction.

 

 

 

 

With Age Comes Wisdom(But Not Always When it Comes to Eating)

On By jodietitianIn fullness, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Image may contain: 1 person, tree and outdoorI think of him as the “Bird Man”. I was only 18 years old and little did I know at the time it was probably because of him that I became a dietitian. I was a freshman at Clark University in Worcester, Massachusetts and he was the graduate student who taught my biology lab. I was a biology major because I just loved the subject and everything to do with how every living thing worked (except the paramecium or amoeba). I had no idea about what I “wanted to be” when I grew up. But I realized I never wanted to be the Bird Man. He studied birds and bird calls (apparently, his thesis was about this topic), and he had us listening to hours of bird tweets, marking down different marks according to how long or short the tweet was. This was not my idea of fun. Anyway, I had no idea at the time that I could have chosen any topic in the field to study, and maybe, it would have been more interesting. Instead, when I consulted with my adviser about changing majors, he asked what interested me. At the time, my best friend at school was a vegetarian, and the food she ate was very different from what I ate. I answered “vegetarianism”. “Well, you should be a dietitian” was his recommendations, and so I changed my focus and transferred to UConn where they had a nutrition program. If I mentioned this story before, I apologize. Age has taught me I am becoming my mother (pictured here, eating ice cream even though she is lactose intolerant).

Anyway, yogurt with sunflower seeds and honey no longer interests me, and if I am honest, I have no interest in vegetarianism either. That was short-lived, but I have no regrets because over the years, I have discovered what truly does fascinate me, and that is behavior. My passion is promoting health and happiness and peace, and being a dietitian , that means peace and happiness with food and eating. Food being such a basic part (and necessity) of life, you wouldn’t think it would be so hard, right? But for many, it is.

When I worked exclusively with patients with eating disorders, I grew to appreciate even more how hard it is for people to change. When I encountered older women or men (in their 40’s, 50’s and one woman I clearly remember in her 60’s), it struck me that age did not necessarily bring wisdom when it came to making healthier choices in life. It was way more complicated. Now, between working more with families who have children with eating issues and even with encounters with your average “dieter”, I am discovering there are many barriers to change and everyone is different.

These are some common scenarios I often see:

  • Your average middle aged person who has gained a few pounds and wants to lose it. They try a certain diet (be it paleo, juice cleanse, Weight Watchers, it really doesn’t matter), they lose weight, and as time passes they gain most of their weight back. But then, despite the fact that they regained the weight, they repeat the process.
  • The person with an eating disorder who is in denial, and despite family and friends expressing concern and worry, they refuse treatment.
  • The person with an eating disorder who does get treatment but still struggles (and often beats themselves up because they are still struggling).
  • The parent with a child who has health issues because of a poor diet yet can’t change their own eating habits.

With all of these situations (there are many more), one thing rings true among them all: despite a good reason to change and despite repeated experiences with failure, change does not happen. Why?

My thought (and experience) is that our expectations are not always realistic. No matter what the situation, we can’t change it overnight. Knowledge, and even age and experience does not translate into change. And guess what……that is ok. The problem is that most people trying to change have little tolerance for making mistakes or for failing. Instead of being accepting of themselves that it is perfectly normal to fail, the self-deprecating dialogue takes over. That leads to a very negative feeling that has the risk of overtaking everything. Feeling negative and berating oneself is not a good recipe for change.

Instead, can you entertain the thought of a different approach to eating? No matter where you are on the eating spectrum (it taken over your life because of an eating disorder, or are you just slightly concerned that what you eat may matter) YOU are the one in control of your thoughts. You may not feel in control of your eating, but there truly is hope.

My suggested steps to change? First, ask yourself these questions:

  1. Reflect. Take time to neutrally (non-judgmentally) think about where you have been when it comes to eating and dieting. Has your road been long, or are you just starting to think about what you are eating?
  2. What does your “self-talk” sound like? In other words, what are you saying to yourself that nobody else can hear? Are you being nice to yourself, treating yourself kindly as you would others, or are you being mean?
  3. How do you feel? Do you have energy galore, or is getting up and moving a battle? If you don’t have energy or you are dragging, do you know why? Have you addressed it with your doctor?
  4. Are there changes in the back of your mind that you really know you need to make for your health’s sake? More sleep, less wine, more exercise, quit smoking, more vegetables? Be honest and make a list. This does not have to do with weight. This has to do with health and feeling good and living longer (hopefully).

THEN, make an action plan:

  1. If your self-talk is negative, write down some “counter-statements”. These are positive things you could say to help put you in a better place. Instead of “I can’t believe I ate that (or did that, or whatever), try saying “nobody’s perfect! at least I am aware of what I am doing! I am working on it!”
  2. If you don’t feel good or have no energy CALL YOUR DOCTOR and get help figuring out why. I know many people who have thyroid conditions, especially later in life that after treatment changed their lives. Depression can also zap energy and will rarely get better without help.
  3. If you are trying to improve your lifestyle to be healthier, but struggling on your own, ask your doctor for a referral (you may need a therapist, physical therapist, sleep study or dietitian…check out Find An Expert to find a registered dietitian in your area.

Remember, any “mistake” you make is really a gift in disguise. It gives you insight into where your barriers and challenges are. You just need to take the time to reflect on what leads you down that path and be kind to yourself as you keep trying to find a better way. It may be that you need to seek help to get you to where you want to go, and remember, it will never be perfect. The path there is never smooth, but that’s ok. As long as you keep going. And learning. And accepting.

So what would I have been had it not been for the Bird Man? I have thought about this. I maybe would have been a Master Chef, or Master Gardener, or maybe a sommelier on a Caribbean Cruise Ship…..Maybe it’s not too late.

Summertime Smorgasbords: How Do YOU Deal With Too Much Food?

On By jodietitianIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Image may contain: foodChili Dip with Nacho chips, chicken cream cheese roll ups, guacamole layered dip with olives, cheeseburgers, hot dogs, grilled chicken, pulled pork, bean salad, corn salad, pasta salad, fruit salad, tortellini salad, cannoli dip with cinnamon chips, homemade macaroons dipped in chocolate, brownies, sugar cookies, chocolate chip cookies, rice krispy treats, cheese cake, Death by chocolate, peanut butter bars, every kind of chip imaginable…..oh, and wine, beer, sangria and water. What do you put on YOUR plate????

That was only part of the food that arrived at our pot luck picnic this weekend to kick off the summer season. Needless to say, the chatter regarding food and eating was unavoidable.  My own daughter was comically stressing about what to choose when the desserts were out. “I’m so full!!! But that looks so good!!” Since she is not a baker and is also very frugal, yummy desserts like these don’t often come her way. I think she felt like she should take advantage of the situation and eat a bit of everything. Yet, she was already full. I simply suggested taking a plate of everything home…..that way, tomorrow, when she was hungry again and eventually in the mood for something sweet, she would be very happy. She thought I was brilliant : ) Such a simple suggestion, yet I am guessing a lot of people might not do this, thinking it was maybe rude to ask to take something home? Yet, I do it all the time for the simple reason being that I am not a fan of tummy aches. Sometimes, you just have to be assertive to take care of yourself….

My daughter’s reaction to my simple suggestion of taking some dessert home made me realize that these summer celebrations, while mostly fun and something we all look forward to, can be stressful to many. That day the dieting/food chatter was impossible to avoid. Some comments my daughter and I overheard:

  • “I didn’t eat today so I can have this”
  • “I am going to do an extra workout at the gym tomorrow morning to burn this up”
  • “I have been good all week”
  • “This week already has been bad, I might as well enjoy it today because after Memorial Day I am starting my diet….again”
  • “I can’t make up my mind what I want to eat, there is too much!”
  • “Get this dip away from me!”

And I am guessing that some people were having their own private thoughts about food and eating they may not have spoken out loud. When I worked exclusively counseling individuals with eating disorders it made me much more aware of how food-filled celebrations like these were absolutely scary. Typical thoughts from my patients were: Will someone be pushing food on me? Will anyone make a comment about what I am eating (or not eating)? Will I gain 5 pounds if I eat something fattening? Yes, everyone is different when it comes to how they handle exposure to such an overwhelming amount of food choices, and it can be emotionally (and physically) draining depending on your relationship with food.

In general, in my career as well as in my daily life I have encountered a few different “types” of individuals when it comes to eating and health, and their reactions to something like my Memorial Day picnic would all be different. For example:

  1. The so-called “normal” eater: this person encompasses a wide variety of people. Picture the active young adult male (or female) who doesn’t know much about cooking, likes to eat and totally appreciates free food. This guy may not care much about how he looks as far as body size, but has the innate ability to listen to his body signals (or, really doesn’t think twice about overeating or feeling way too full). He tends to take exactly what he likes, enjoys his plate of food and may throw out what he can’t finish. He then runs off to play lawn games with friends. Or, picture the middle age or older person who no longer is as fit as they used to be, but never dieted and doesn’t know what a calorie is. They may talk more about their digestive habits than food and body size. They tend to grab food they enjoy but avoid the things they know give them digestive problems (as we age, for example, some of us can’t digest milk as well as we could before). Or maybe fried foods does not sit as well as before, so passing over the bacon chili dogs with cheese is not because of calories but because of the desire to avoid the uncomfortable repercussions.
  2. The “restrained eater”: this person does not have a clinical eating disorder (meaning they may not meet all of the criteria for a diagnosis) however they probably spend a lot of time thinking about food restriction, calories, etc. They are very weight-conscious and weigh themselves often to be sure they are not gaining weight, or because they are trying to lose weight. The way a restrained eater behaves at a picnic depends on which mind set they are in at the moment. If they are determined to be restrictive, they may choose only “safe” lower calorie foods (such as the grilled chicken and salad). They might be experiencing some inner turmoil because the food choices available are especially appealing to someone who tends to restrict them on a daily basis. They may actually break down and have something, but the guilt they feel after eating triggers a repetitive and negative, blaming message inside their heads. Or, they may overeat once they have “blown it”, knowing that days of restriction will follow. Yes, restricting intake and dieting is associated with binge eating. It may not make sense to a naturally intuitive eater why on earth someone would eat so much as to feel ill (sometimes referred to as a “food hangover”). The person who has never dieted won’t get it, but those who have put themselves in “diet jail” understand that you gotta eat while you can, because inevitably, the dieting days will start again. The bottom line for restrained eaters is picnics can be challenging.
  3. The eating disordered person: without going into detail, someone with an eating disorder (anorexia nervosa, bulimia or binge eating disorder) faces challenges beyond most people’s comprehension. They may have some great strategies to cope with these overwhelming situations if they have received treatment and this can help get them through it all. Sometimes, the hardest part for them is the scrutiny of others. That is why I make it a point to never comment on what someone else is eating (or not eating). It is none of my business. So please, do me a favor and keep your eyes on your own plate. Intentions may be good (they usually are from caring family and friends) but I promise you, unless your loved one personally asked you to be the food police, don’t do it.
  4. The “healthy eater”: this person may not be extremely restrained, but they prefer healthier types of foods. They may know little about calories and may not care about their weight at all. But they like good, wholesome and also delicious food. I know a lot of people like this (some may be referred to as “foodies”). They love to cook and discover interesting ways to make kale or beets. When you go to a party and there is that one unusual salad that you just can’t get enough of (and yet it’s main ingredient is vegetables), this is the person who likely brought it. Just this week I had a salad made of shredded broccoli, dried cranberries, walnuts (I think) and poppy seed dressing that was to die for. I also had a fresh corn salad with blueberries and cucumbers (go figure) that was also an unusually delicious combo. Besides enjoying cooking healthy type foods, these are the people who don’t eat much processed foods, not because they are worried about gaining weight but because they would rather make it themselves and know what is in it. I admit to being somewhat of a dessert snob in my old age (I can now taste the chemicals in a Twinkie). It needs to be homemade to taste good to me. Anyway, at a picnic these types of people may tend to be a bit selective but it is not the same as the “orthorexics” who will only eat super-healthy foods to the point of eliminating many fats, carbohydrate foods, etc. and who stress about eating perfectly. Normal, healthy eaters who prefer healthy food don’t waste a lot of time making their decisions about what they want to eat……they just may pick the more wholesome and homemade options (they really don’t miss the hot dog because they don’t enjoy them). But they won’t be passing up that homemade guacamole.
  5. The weight-conscious “healthy eaters”: these are people who have what is often referred to as “normative discontent”. They may be weight-conscious and try not to overeat, but they are going to enjoy themselves. As I may have written in another blog, in our culture it is difficult to not notice or care about body changes or weight gain as we age. Working on eating healthier and exercising but in a way that does not make you stressed out and does not affect your life in any big way is a different story than the restrained eater who feels guilt after eating. Still, focusing on weight in any extreme way (where it leads to meal skipping or restriction after a picnic or party day) may be a red flag. While it is reasonable to want to have a stable body weight as you get older, if too much energy has to be spent thinking about eating and food choices, or if guilt with eating enters the picture that is a different story.

The message I wanted to send today is that the summer fun has only begun, and my hope is that you will find a way to truly enjoy it at the same time as you honor your health, both physical and mental. That means accepting the person who YOU are and reflecting on your relationship with food. Do you find yourself feeling excessive guilt after eating at picnics? Do you starve or restrict before a party, then overeat and feel awful? Or, do you embrace and enjoy the great variety of foods you don’t ever get to have (because, honestly, who has the time to scrape corn off a cob for a blueberry corn cucumber salad?) If you find you really don’t enjoy these fun summertime food-centered events, try to figure out why….are you trying to be too healthy? are you afraid of gaining weight? Do a reality check. One meal or one day honestly has little affect on health or body weight. If you work on intuitive eating and listening to your fullness, you truly can eventually figure out a way to enjoy the entire event, food and all.

And, remember, you can always take home a doggie bag : )

 

When Your Thighs Change Size Overnight (or do they?)

On By jodietitianIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Waves, Sand and FeetI have never heard a man complain about the size of his butt. Women, on the other hand, seem to scrutinize almost every inch of their bodies. Their hips are too big, their tummy too fat, their arms jiggle too much. Their neck is getting saggy and so are their breasts. We just can’t win in the body image world (or sometimes it seems). With eating disorders awareness week coming up, and without a week going by when I don’t hear at least one complaint from someone about their physical body, I thought it might be good to write about it. In particular, I was remembering a handout I used to use with my eating disordered patients  called “The Theory of Expando Thighs” by  Karin Kratina, PhD, RD. She is one of the most respected among the eating disorder and body image experts, so check out her website and the resources she provides (and she has a new book coming out soon).

I do want to be clear that although in my work and life I tend to hear more body image complaints from females, males are not immune. Body image concerns are not discriminatory. I bet we all know a man who complains about his abs. But for the purpose of this post, I am going to focus on women.

Anyway, I loved this handout because it was a great visual explanation of what is really going on when we look down at our thighs and it seems they have grown overnight. Sometimes our eyes don’t see the reality.  Can a body part truly change overnight? No. So why is it that sometimes we feel that way? We look in the mirror and feel good. Then, we go to get ready for work, take another look and see something totally different. How does this hijacking of our mind, this total takeover happen?

The reality for most of us is we have so much going on in our lives. Stress at work, children to deal with, families, careers, school, and so many other things to think about. Yet, somehow, the size of our thighs (butt, arms, tummy) take center stage. The need to diet, count calories, lose weight, get these thighs back to normal becomes a priority. You should be trying to figure out what to do when your senior year ends. You should be filling out applications for that new job. You should really call that marriage counselor because for once, you told yourself you were determined to make your marriage better….or to end it.

None of these challenges sound like fun. Who enjoys worrying about getting a job? Who wants to think about the future? And who in the world really wants to see a therapist and delve into something that has the potential to turn your world upside down?

That’s where those thighs come in. And the calorie counting. And the gradual obsession with numbers and food. When you see your thighs as a sudden problem, you get to stress about it. Suddenly, you conveniently have something else to worry about. This is awful, these suddenly huge thighs! Time to diet, count calories, plan menus, etc, etc, etc. Who has time to think about the “real” (difficult, painful) issue. It works. As torturous as it may sound to have your thighs grow overnight, it is much easier to deal with than the real issues.

So, instead of seeing what is actually there, our eyes just might be seeing what is going to enable us to avoid “something”.

I don’t consider myself a body image expert by any means, however I have had the privilege to be educated over the years by my former patients who often had extreme body image distortion. There was no way for me to ever understand how someone who appeared emaciated to me could look in a mirror and see themselves as someone who needed to lose weight. One day, over 20 years ago, one of my patients, a very intelligent professional woman who had suffered for several years with an eating disorder was in for a weekly visit. Her weight was dangerously low and she had been in and out of the hospital. She told me she had had an amazing thing happen. She was in the process of applying for a new job and had to go shopping for a business suit. She first went into a department store at the mall, and no matter how small of a size she tried on, the suits just were too big. She figured it was just the brand, so she went to a different store. The same thing happened. Still, she told herself, it was the store, their clothes just ran big. After several stores, she was finally in the last one, a very expensive store that she was confident would have accurate sizing. She put on a suit jacket and looked in the mirror, and for a second, she said, she saw this emaciated woman swimming in a giant coat…..which was a size double zero. She left the store. This was the first time, she said, that she had ever seen herself as others see her. She said to me, “but, the eating disorder will not allow me to see myself as I truly am because then I would have to eat”. I will never forget that woman and the story she told me. For once, it kind of made sense.

Of course, someone with a clinically diagnosed eating disorder may suffer from the extreme as far as body image. Anyone, however, can get sucked into focusing too much on their bodies and end up wasting a lot of precious time. Whether you are having body image concerns or not, if there is something in your life you are not happy with (job, relationship, etc.) I always recommend getting some help. Life is too short to not be happy. Some things we just can’t control, but if we can, why not try? Even if you are in the worst of positions, and feel stuck and immobile, making that phone call is a step. It counts. You did something. You are moving in a better direction.

So next time you glance in the mirror, and something appears vastly different than the day before, don’t beat yourself up. And please, don’t take any drastic action. Instead, ask if there might be something in your life you could be avoiding….make a vow to work on your health (a very positive and rewarding goal). If you happen to be going through a difficult time, ask yourself if you can do it alone. With Eating Disorder Awareness Week starting tomorrow, make a pledge to start with yourself by loving and appreciating the body you have.

For more resources on body image check out:

Books by Dr. Margo Maine

Pursuing Perfection: Eating Disorders. Body Myths, and Women at Midlife and Beyond (with Joe Kelly) (Routledge, 2016)

Body Wars: Making Peace with Women’s Bodies (Gurze, 2000)

The Body Myth: Adult Women and the Pressure to Be Perfect, with Joe Kelly (John Wiley, 2005)